New Years Eve
by Loz06
Summary: Neil.Andrea. Stand alone. A New Years Eve party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.
1. New Years Eve

**Title**: New Years Eve

**Author**: Loz & Meegan Boulton

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Stand alone, not related to anything else I've done. See also 'How this works'

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated. I'd love to hear which of the endings was your favourite.

**Summary**: A NYE party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.

**How this works**: Ok so you used to be able to get those books where you could 'choose your own adventure' and this is kind like that. You read this first part and the rest are alternative endings to this part with different sets of circumstances and outcomes for Neil and Andrea.

**Note**: This is actually a co-effort with Meegan Boulton so all compliments/criticisms etc should also be sent in her direction even though I'm the one posting this story.

**Future**: This story is not finished and I anticipate there will be as many as 9 or 10 alternative endings.

**Disclaimers**: It's a new year and I still can't claim ownership of The Bill.

* * *

Andrea Dunbar looks up from her last piece of paperwork to see Catherine Hartman looking decidedly annoyed. She doesn't know anything about the young PC beyond her name and rank; they'd never worked together due to the fact they're on different reliefs or shared anything personal about themselves. On occasions they'd run into each other, always around the time of the change of shift and when their paperwork piled up, on many occasions they'd expressed their mutual loathing for that part of the job.

"Oh... You didn't get the message Inspector Gold is in a bad mood today?" Andrea looks to her fellow officer with sympathy.

"I've seen better temperaments on bucking bulls but it's not that, I'm rostered on for New Years Eve and I actually had an invite to a great party this year," Catherine slides out a chair and falls dejectedly into it.

"Yeah, I saw the roster," Andrea's face is apologetic though she is in no way responsible. "I'm on New Years Day; sometimes I think that's worse because you can go out New Years Eve but not drink much."

Catherine nods, "That was me last year; I volunteered to work Christmas this year so I thought I might be excused for New Year's."

"Mmm you could take your case to Inspector Gold," Andrea suggests cheekily.

"I'm not going near that powder keg with my little spark," Catherine replies and the two women laugh at the small joke. "I better get on with it," She sighs standing up and out of her chair.

"I'll see you around," Andrea says going back to her work; she notices the date at the top of the page in her handwriting – the twentieth.

She might be free to ring in the New Year but so far she has no plans.

* * *

As Andrea exits the locker room she pushes her left arm into the sleeve of her jacket, only for it to become stuck. Down the corridor someone laughs raucously, attracting Andrea's attention as she struggles to get her arm into the more than ample space.

"Hey, what's going on?" Andrea asks approaching Yvonne, Honey, Tony and Roger whose laughter it was that filled the corridors. With the sound of tearing stitching Andrea's arm final slides into place.

"These," Honey says holding up a plain white envelope, gradually the other three do the same.

"Is there one for everyone?" Andrea doesn't wait for an answer, stepping between the group to check her space. A similar envelope waits innocently to be collected.

"Roger suggested it was a transfer notice, all the women are being moved out so a MET super station can be created, men only," Yvonne's dry tone clearly indicates she doesn't appreciate the joke.

"Then how do you explain the fact you got an envelope?" Andrea asks Roger, clearly pleased she's blown his theory out of the water and had the chance to show him up.

"She's got you there Roger," Yvonne laughs and he shrinks back, a wash of embarrassment on his face.

Next to him Tony laughs.

"You got one too," Roger reminds him.

"I'm hoping it's a late Christmas bonus so I can hit the New Year sales," Honey turns her envelope over in her hands, the look from the others suggests she has little hope of it being true.

"Could be a pay rise," Tony suggests, the look Honey received transferred to him.

"Better working conditions," Roger joins the conversation again.

"Yeah, compensation for broken nails," Yvonne jokes, it goes down well with the other women.

"We might all be getting fired," Honey brings down the mood with her suggestion.

"Just for that you're opening yours first," Tony tells Honey and then unexpectedly lets out a long groan.

"What?" Yvonne snaps up, eager to know what he's thinking.

"I bet it's an invitation to another one of those open mike comedy/karaoke nights Gary was performing at."

"That last one was terrible; he'd have to have guts after being booed off stage at the last one," Andrea comments as she holds hers up to the light. "Are there any hatches, matches or dispatches happening?"

Her question is met with silence, when she looks to her friends it's clear she might as well have been speaking an obscure African language. "Is anyone getting engaged, married, is anyone pregnant or retiring?" She translates.

"Not that I know of but this might be the announcement," Roger suggests.

"It's from Mr. Okaro," The group turns to Honey who scans the sole piece of paper that was in the envelope.

"The Super?" Yvonne confirms finding the envelopes and notes a strange way of communicating with the rest of the station.

"Mine's an invitation, he's having a New Years Eve party," She continues to read. "Honey Harmon and partner are invited to attend," She continues to read, putting on a posh voice. "Provided I'm not working," She editorialises.

In a flurry of tearing envelopes the other rush to see if theirs contain the same thing.

* * *

"So, are you going to this New Years Eve party then?" Marilyn asks, as she, Yvonne and Andrea sit down in the canteen the next day.

"I might do," Says Andrea. "But you can just imagine it? It's gonna be all the top brass from around the borough, and knowing Okaro, the council and every church, mosque and synagogue from here to Wales."

"You're right," Agrees Yvonne. "I've had better fun watching paint dry."

"Well, Reg and I are going. I've never been to a big police do before. Oh my God, what am I going to wear?!" She exclaims, getting up suddenly and running out of the canteen.

"Trust me, you're not missing much," Mutters Yvonne, giggling.

"So, what are you lot planning on doing for New Years?" Tony asks, as he and Roger join them at the table.

"I'm not sure, might end up being a quiet one at home with the cat. I'm rostered on the next day."

"Yeah, so am I," Says Andrea. "What are you guys doing?"

"Same here, Tony and I were thinking about heading down to the Queen's Head for a few quiet ones, why don't you join us?"

"Don't you think we should drop in on the Okaro's party? Super or not, it's going to look dodgy if half of Sun Hill doesn't make an appearance," Andrea feels a little sorry for Adam, Super or not, he's a decent bloke underneath.

"Yeah I guess so," Tony agrees. "Mind you, I wouldn't mind seeing what the Super's home life is like. Anyone met his missus?"

"No, but I've heard a lot about her," Says Yvonne. "I know, why don't we get a group together, have a few down the pub, drop in on the party and if it's as boring and la-di-da as we think it'll be, back to the pub again?"

"Yvonne, thought you'd never ask," Laughs Roger.

* * *

"Here's a man who will no doubt be painting the town red on New Years Eve," Andrea enthuses as Lance sits down at the table. Leela slides in next to Tony and Andrea flashes a friendly smile.

Lance laughs once but looks a little uneasy. "Mark can't decide where he wants to go or what he wants to do. I've told him anything is fine with me..." Lance trails off.

"You two are OK aren't you?" Honey asks concerned.

"Yeah, he just can't decide if he wants to play it safe in a gay club or be a little more adventurous, or stay in," Lance shrugs. "That's just how he is," Despite the explanation Yvonne senses there's something more.

"Did anyone get one of these?" He holds up the same envelope Honey, Yvonne, Andrea, Tony and Roger had yesterday.

Everyone at the table nods and Lance's face washes with relief, looking more like his usual self.

"I thought it was this formal sit down dinner and Mark and I were going to be the token gay couple. After he announced my sexuality to the press..."

"You should come," Tony encourages. "He owes you a drink or six."

"You're all going?" Leela pipes up.

"We're going to head down to the pub first and then head over to the party, if it's lifeless we're going to head back to the pub," Andrea explains their plans.

"Safety in numbers?" Leela offers and the group laughs.

"What are your plans?" Honey asks, "Are you going?"

"Oh.. I've kind of got family here at the moment, we're doing the whole huge family celebration thing, I shouldn't try to get out of it, my dad will nag me, family responsibility coming first and all, some of them I haven't seen since I was a kid," Leela explains.

"Oi you lot, refs are over," Gina Gold bellows from the doorway, the group turn to look at her. "Well chop, chop, can't defend the downtrodden from your tea cups."

Tony, Roger, Yvonne, Honey and Andrea make moves that look like they're getting up, satisfied Gina Gold heads back through the maze of corridors of Sun Hill.

"God, wonder if she's invited," Honey near groans as the group turns back. "Judging by her mood it's reason enough to stay at the pub, probably nag us about how much we're drinking and the fact we have to work the next day."

It's cold outside and no one is in a hurry to get back on patrol or even into the relative comfort of the area car.

"Of course she'd be invited; you do know she and Mr. Okaro used to date," Tony offers and the others look at him amazed. "Oh it was before your time," He waves off.

"I'll say," Yvonne chuckles earning herself a 'be careful' look from Tony.

"Less of the 'old' thanks Yvonne," Roger requests.

"You know I can't really see her at a party," Andrea crinkles her brow trying to picture Gina Gold in a social scene.

"Oh she'd fit right in," Roger disagrees. "She drinks and smokes and that laugh of her, she knows everyone."

"She might become less uptight and more human," Leela offers.

"So we'll meet at the 'usual'?" Andrea suggests, behind her Smithy enter the canteen and hovers by the door.

"About eight," Lance suggests and the group agrees.

"Now we just need an excuse to use if the party's boring," Honey leans in closer.

"Oh leave that to me," Tony volunteers. "When you have as many women turn you down as I have, you come to hear a few excuses, some creative ones too."

"Aww, we still love you Tone," Leela pats his shoulder.

"Yeah, thanks," Tony says grudgingly.

"Oi you lot, out on patrol now!" Smithy roars and the group jumps. Slowly they push back their seats, saying goodbye to Leela and Lance.

"Sarge," They mumble as they pass Smithy whose look very much resembles Gina's.

"Looks like Smithy could do with some of the Super's free drinks as well," Tony comments when he Roger and Yvonne are out of earshot.

"Or something else," Yvonne chuckles, the other two cringe with the image.

Behind them Honey and Andrea approach Smithy. "I've just got to blow my nose sarge," Honey almost asks permission, for a few days now she's sounded sniffly.

"Powder your nose PC Harmon?!" He roars and Honey jumps.

"Blow my nose sarge, I've got a cold," Honey correctly him softly.

"I suppose you'll be needing sick time now as well," He grumbles loudly. "Well get on with it."

Honey moves quickly into the female locker room with Andrea.

"What's wrong with him?" Andrea groans.

From behind her tissue, Honey rolls her eyes, it should be well known by now to everyone.

"Oh, yeah," Andrea says, now remembering as Honey throws her tissue in the bin.

"Hey look at this," Honey stops Andrea as she was about to push through the door. Out of the bin she pulls the same envelope they'd all received yesterday.

"Whose is it?" Andrea asks, knowing they're safe from Smithy and Gina. Honey doesn't hesitate to open the envelope and when she read the name on the invitation she laughs out loud.

Andrea joins her when Honey passes her the invitation and she reads the name.

"So typical of Amber," Honey says snobbishly.

"She's taking a big risk putting it in the bin inside the station," Andrea drops the envelope back into its resting place. "Anyone could find it."

"Anyone just has," Honey says with a slightly evil twinkle in her eye, picking it back up again. After a minute she reconsiders and puts it back in the bin again.

"I can just see her now, she's probably gloating about how she can't go because she's got some fabulous party to go to with all these celebrities," Honey rolls her eyes.

"More like she's just covering for the fact she's spending the night at home with her cats," Andrea corrects.

"Her ugly hairless cats that scratch her," Honey giggles as she makes the scenario up.

"You know I'm actually looking forward to this party of Mr. Okaro's," Andrea admits honestly when she's stopped laughing.

"Me too... I'm hoping I can drown this cold in free drinks," Honey says her voice back to sniffly again.

The two women laugh as they walk out of the locker room, heading back to work.

* * *

Honey and Yvonne who are sitting either side of Andrea, turn, stare and start laughing as Andrea chokes on her drink, the foam going up her nose. The almost painful tingling rendering her unable to speak.

On the other side of the round table Sheelagh, June, Laura, Will and Dan raise their eyebrows at Andrea as she coughs and splutters, her eyes watering.

"Well that was entertaining," June laughs and next to Andrea, Honey and Yvonne, pleasantly buzzed from a few beers have tears rolling down their cheeks.

"No, um..." Andrea waves her hand towards the bar.

"Oh my," Yvonne sounds completely sober suddenly, after a few seconds something clicks and she starts laughing uncontrollably again.

Across the bar Amber Johansson stands dressed in full uniform and next to her is Catherine Hartman.

"It's a costume party," Honey manages between giggles. "She's going to a costume party, what's her party trick, handcuffing everyone?"

"It's not a party trick, that's a regular recreational Saturday night for Amber," Yvonne adds.

"Actually I don't think that's it..." Andrea says clearly, the penny just having dropped with her.

"Gina Gold placed Amber in B relief as of tonight, she's working," June Ackland informs them, having gravitated to their conversation from another. She looks a little taken aback as the three collapse against each other laughing and quickly slides back into Sheelagh and Laura's conversation.

"The only partying with celebrities she'll be doing is scooping them drunk out of the gutter." Yvonne's words are punctuated by fits of laughter. "No wonder she put her invitation in the garbage."

"Oh stop," Honey sings out, still laughing. "I'm going to pee my pants."

"Oh God I already have," Andrea sobers quickly, discovering she's sloshed her drink down her skirt in the midst of one of her laughing fits.

Across the table Will nudges Dan as he looks in the direction of the three women. "What's wrong with them?"

"I think they're having a laugh at Amber's expense and they're probably drunk too," Dan shakes his head, a wry look on his face and downs the last of his beer.

"No, no, I'm not drunk, I can't be drunk at Mr. Okaro's party," Yvonne yells having somehow overheard Dan.

She sits up and smoothes down her clothes and hair. "I want to get promoted one day."

"Another round, my shout," Dan announces standing up. "Same again for everyone?"

"We can't," Andrea elbows Honey gently, who lifts her head off Andrea's shoulder. "Look at the time."

"Oh, we're late," Honey says grabbing her bag from the table.

"I'll get us some cabs," Yvonne slides out of her chair and heads outside.

"Not for us Dan," Andrea tells him standing up. "The next round's on the Super, we're done paying for drinks tonight."

"We'll share a cab with you," Andrea offers the rest of the table who make their way talking and laughing out into the crisp night air which quickly knocks the silly giggles out of them.

"So we've got an excuse right?" Honey confirms as the cab pulls away from the pub. "In case this is all tea, scones and scrabble."

"Tony assured me it's under control, if it's boring he'll be out the front, we drive by. Pick him up and head back to the pub," Andrea explains the carefully laid plans.

"Excellent," Yvonne sits back into her seat, satisfied she'll enjoy the night no matter where it happens.

* * *

"Is that..?" Honey trails off and immediately shushes Dan and Yvonne so she can better hear. "That's music, surely it's not coming from..."

As the cab in front of them pulls up, with the others from Sun Hill in it, in front of Adam Okaro's place, astonishment covers Yvonne's face.

"No sign of Tony," Andrea comments. "Must be safe to go in."

"Of course it is," Yvonne says as they pool their money to pay the driver. "I could hear the music down the end of the street."

"I wonder if Barton Street has been here already with a friendly 'please turn the noise down'?" Honey says as they pile one after another out of the cab.

All three women stand on the pathway, starting up at the Okaro family home.

"This place is huge," Yvonne says continuing to be near stunned, behind them the cabs pull away unnoticed.

"The lights, the music, they have a good relationship with their neighbours," Andrea decides.

"People in this neighbourhood can probably afford hefty soundproofing," Honey adds wryly.

"Are you coming inside ladies?" Sheelagh calls from the front steps.

"Imagine what it's going to be like inside," Yvonne whispers as the three hurry to catch up with June, Laura and Sheelagh.

* * *

The inside of the Okaro home is equally as impressive, The warmth sides out through the front door, inviting them in.

"Can I take your coats ladies?" Yvonne almost jumps, disarmed by the handsome man who's welcoming guests.

"Certainly," Honey smiles flirtingly, shrugging her coat off her shoulder.

"Mmm, I am impressed," Andrea smiles knowingly at Yvonne.

It's never a secret on Honey's face when she sees someone she fancies and she's always quick to respond when there's a possibility on the horizon.

Strength in numbers the three women walk shoulder to shoulder through the entry space and into the main entertaining area.

The party is well and truly underway.

"This place is huge," Andrea yells above the music, a staircase makes it's way to the second floor and archways give promise to further rooms.

"Yeah, how the other half live," Honey says as she scans the crowd for people they know.

"Let's go and check out who's here," Yvonne leads them into a throng of couples and groups who hold delicately their glasses of champagne and spirits, trying almost ineffectively to carry out a conversation above the music.

They squeeze their way past the temporary dance floor and into the kitchen where drinks are being poured and carried out for the guests. Searching for somewhere to position themselves they make their way into the front room which is somewhat sheltered from the music, the only real competition for their conversation is from the fire that roars and crackles.

Andrea grabs a glass of bubbly for each of them from the waiter who passes them on his way out of the room. Yvonne smiles at the other group in the room and makes her way to the free sofa.

"Every single brass from the MET is here," Yvonne whispers loudly, an element of disbelief in her voice. "I had to 'Sir' my way around the room, I was tripping over them."

"Not to mention every other officer from Barton Street and Spicer Street as well as Stafford Row," Honey adds.

"I've seen members of the local council, community leaders, prominent estate residents who work with us," Yvonne lists.

"Yes, it's definitely the United Nations of New Years Eve parties," Andrea jokes and the three of them laugh uncontrollably.

"Actually..." Yvonne turns serious. "It's very politically savvy of the Super to hold a party like this, spread some goodwill throughout the community leaders and council, promote the relationship between the MET and the community, network a bit between local stations."

"Oh you need to switch off," Honey groans. "You haven't drunk enough yet."

"Oh come one it's all for the show," Andrea says tapping into her cynicism she though she'd left at the door with her coat and the cute guy.

"Who cares," Honey sounds off. "Free food, free booze, cute guys."

"Tony!" Andrea shouts delighted, having seen he and Roger pass outside the room.

"Can you believe this?" Tony asks sitting down next to Andrea. "This is...I'm lost for words."

"Oh come one, half of them here tonight are freeloaders or they're just here to nose around the house...I mean the number of brass who disagree strongly with Okaro on issues and they're here tonight. This party is all for the show," Roger taps into his cynical side which happens more often for him than it does for Andrea.

Much to his confusion the three women are holding back giggles, "What?"

"That's us, we're here to check out the house and the free booze," Tony reminds him.

"No, I mean..." Realising he's put his foot in it, Roger sighs as he shakes his head and gets up. "I'm off to find the food."

"Have you been out the back?" Tony asks Honey. "There's a huge glass room and backyard area."

"Great, show me and lets find some food and another drink on the way there," Honey agrees, suddenly filled with exuberance.

"I'm going to catch up with some people from Barton Street I used to work with, you'll be alright?" Yvonne asks Andrea.

"Sure, I'm going to snoop..." Andrea fake coughs. "I mean explore some more."

"Report back," Yvonne maker her promise before leaving Andrea alone.

She drains the champagne to the laughter of the group sitting around the fire. Her fingers play at the stem of the empty glass like it were piano keys, she suddenly feels a little hesitant without the armour that is her girlfriends.

A young couple, making their way sloppily through the crowd bump past Andrea and for the second time tonight she spills her drink. Cursing the two stains she now wears, a waiter appears at her side with a cloth to dab away the mess. With a polite smile she silently thanks Adam Okaro's forethought but wonders if he realises there's no cloth big enough to save his floor and carpet from similar treatment.

Andrea grabs a dainty delicacy off a silver tray that flashes by as she makes her way considerately past people. After chewing it twice Andrea looks desperately for a plant to sit it into, desperate to evacuate the sour taste from her mouth.

Discreetly as possible she does so into an elegant green plant but still needs a toothbrush and mouth wash. Andrea looks around to ensure no one has seen her, only to find Steve Hunter watching her every move.

He dances clumsily as though he were a mechanical toy with each limb having only 3 positions of movement. She watches with all the fascination of a car crash, so horrific but unable to look away. Steve looks as embarrassed and uncontrollable as Andrea is watching him.

Realising she's staring, Andrea waves her hand once at Steve and flashes him a tiny smile. He stops dancing when someone taps him on his shoulder from behind.

Andrea moves on when a petite blonde smiles flirtingly with Steve.

* * *

"Andrea!" Someone calls from across the room and she turns to see a total stranger coming her way.

She smiles back at the short rounded man whose face has lit up at seeing her. Andrea desperately searches her memory but comes up with nothing.

"So good to see you," He says enthusiastically and hugs Andrea much to her shock.

"Uh, hi," Andrea says bewildered and extracts herself from the embrace quickly.

He holds her at arms length and inspects her, "You look so good...come and dance with me."

"Uh I was heading to the ladies," Andrea tips her head behind her knowing full well she has no idea what she's indicating to.

"Come on, powder your nose later," The mystery man almost whines.

"Oh no, can't," Andrea half laughs. "I'll be right back, meet you out there."

She skips away as quickly as possible, not looking back and for the first time that night she's grateful for the large number of people to get lost in.

"Who was that?!" Andrea laughs to herself now she's safe but it's cut short when she suddenly has a view to the opposite corner of the room.

Standing alone in the corner, Gabriel Kent wears his usual look, a creepy scowl and tonight he seems to ooze an Ebenezer Scrooge vibe that's even more evil than the original. He lifts the drink in his hand every now and then and takes large mouthfuls of whatever it is that he's drinking neat. His eyes scan the room, pausing on each person as he does a visual sweep...watching everyone enjoying themselves. His eyes bore into Andrea like they have everyone else as though he's trying to put her off balance, that all of his anger is directed towards her and the others in the room enjoying themselves...it makes Andrea incredibly uncomfortable.

He's cloaked by his own negative energy, it surrounds him and it's not hard to see why no one comes his way. Andrea moves on, shaking slightly like Gabriel Kent can be rid of like water off a ducks back.

Andrea spots some stairs and the opportunity to escape not only the music but the crowds, the guy she can't remember meeting and the field of vision of Gabriel Kent.

She looks up at the stairs which curve gently back around from where they originated from. She stumbles on the first one but catches herself from an embarrassing fall with the hand rail. To her relief when she turns around, no one seems to have noticed.

The potential embarrassment of being caught in the stumble is forgotten as her eyes cast over to the far corner of the room.

Samantha Nixon sits in the corner in a dress that seems to have been made just for her, it brings out a feminine side that Andrea has never seen in the detective before. Sam Nixon usually slides easily into the often masculine culture of CID and holds her own very well but tonight there's none of that and Andrea's not the only one that has noticed. Sam shifts and the silk dress that covers her crossed legs does as well. The red material slides away exposing a perfectly porcelain leg and it's as though she's turned chameleon, making the change from business to feminine and finally sexy as Phil Hunter approaches her.

It almost defies possibility but in the sight of a beautiful woman, Phil Hunter appears nervous. His suit is impeccably cut and moves with each step as he holds a delicate flute of champagne out to Sam. She takes it from him and Andrea watches the body language from her which mirrors that of a first date. Phil looks nervous as does Sam who fidgets and studied her lap.

Vuyouristically Andrea remains riveted to her spot on the stairs watching their every move – a shy smile, head bowed, laughter and conversation that comes when ones guard has dropped.

Andrea has always found Samantha Nixon to be guarded about her private life and certainly not the type to mix business with pleasure. From that Andrea considers the promise of a New Year, a rebirth and shedding of the mistakes of the past, a time to be more open about things and to, for one night, care less about the rules and regulations that govern life...instead take a chance and go with something that just feels right.

Phil shifts closer to the sofa and so does Samantha who boldly straightens the collar of his shirt, an action Andrea knows herself would have been impulsive but at the same time would have felt so natural.

Although an invisible and unquantifiable element, it's plainly visible to Andrea as the electrical spark, responsible for the beginning of so many relationships, passes between them.

Oblivious to the loud and often gaudy party around them, Phil and Sam entreat into an even more private corner of their own, the corner sofa that they sit in has erected an invisible barrier for privacy.

But when Phil leans in a little closer Andrea knows she will have to shake herself from her guilty viewing pleasure. It's too soon for a public kiss.

Like a true gentleman, though Andrea's not sure she's ever seen it in him, Phil guides Samantha out of the room and away from the noise with a protective hand on the small of her back.

Feeling a sudden pang of emptiness and loneliness, in amongst a crowd of over a hundred people who are laughing and enjoying themselves, Andrea continues her way up the stairs.

* * *

Tastefully decorated, the hallway of the second story runs from the front of the room to the back. Dimly lit by only a small lamp, all the doors are closed but one which stands slightly ajar and after a moments consideration Andrea heads towards it.

"Hey," A female voice hisses loudly from the top of the stairs and Andrea jumps, her nerves wired because she's snooping.

"Honey," Andrea admonishes. "You scared me half to death."

"Sorry," Honey giggles and catches up to Andrea. "How'd you get up here?"

"I was just wandering after you guys ditched me," Andrea teases.

"Hey, we..." Honey begins to protest. "This guy hit on me back there."

"Really, who?" Andrea asks curiously.

"I don't know, he came up to me and made out like we were friends."

"What did he look like?"

"Dark hair, kinda round."

"He did the same thing to me," Andrea blurts out and the two look at each other dissolving into giggles. "How did he know our names...how pathetic."

"Anyway I danced with Steve to get away from him," Honey adds casually.

"Steve is a horrible dancer," Andrea comments from first hand knowledge.

"I know," Honey shakes her head. "I should have done something about that...Oh did you see Phil and Sam?"

"Yes," Andrea responds enthusiastically. "I was spying one them from the top of the stairs."

"I saw them sneaking away, taking a stroll down the street," Honey gossips.

"Ooo holding hands?" Andrea guesses.

"Yep and he gave her his scarf."

"A grand gesture for Phil," Andrea correctly observes.

"Mmm, seems to me that Phil's good at the grand gesture but not so at the hard relationship stuff," Honey analyses.

"Speaking from experience," Andrea teases.

"No way!" Honey defends, as though even speaking the words is the worst possible thing in the world.

"So how'd you get up here?" Andrea switches the topic of conversation.

"I was looking for the bathroom, everything I've drunk tonight has gone right through me."

"It's downstairs," A young masculine, it turns Andrea around again.

"Hello," Honey says in her best kindergarten teacher voice while Andrea mumbles something about being frightened twice in one night and having ten years added to her age. "Are you allowed to be awake still."

"Duh, I'm almost ten," The reply drips with tween attitude, it does not have the desired effect, making Honey smile instead.

"Mum and Dad said we could watch the fireworks on TV and then we had to turn out the lights," A young girls face appears around the edge of the door.

"Will you be able to sleep with all the music?" Andrea chimes in.

"Probably not," The young boy says with maturity beyond his years, indicating he finds what's going on downstairs a pain.

"You're not supposed to be up here," The young girls says.

"We got lost, we're looking for the bathroom," Honey repeats.

"It's downstairs," The young girl disappears behind the door and the young boy a moment later. Gigging floats from inside the warmly lit room, both Andrea and Honey clearly hear the comment 'they're drunk' above all the noise.

"Hey have you seen Jo's girlfriend?" Honey asks, the noise growing as they head towards the stairs.

"No, why?" Andrea asks, curious.

"I'll point her out," Honey says critically as they head back downstairs.

There seem to be even more people in the room now, if that's possible and an eighties dance remix pumps loudly from the stereo. Feeling a little more upbeat, Andrea dances her way down the stairs. She scans the top of the crowd but sees no one she knows.

"I should have asked where the bathroom was," Honey dances at the bottom of the stairs and it's not because of the beat of the music. "Don't turn around now but here comes Jo," Honey says in a low voice, forgetting about her bladder.

"Go, find a loo, it'll look obvious if we're both staring," Andrea ushers Honey away and then turns around.

Jo's face brightens when she sees Andrea but she's obscuring the view of her partner though their hands are joined.

"Great party," Jo says as she breezes past. Andrea nods and smiles then discreetly turns and watches the couple once they've passed.

What she sees makes her bottom jaw drop.

Six inch black heeled boots, fish net stockings, a skirt which sits on her hips and just covers her backside with a thin mesh shirt that hides nothing, especially not the shiny black bra with embedded diamantes.

"O-K," Andrea says, understanding what Honey was talking about now.

When Andrea's done waiting for Honey who takes forever she wanders towards the kitchen in search of something to eat. She pushes the door open but it swings inward too fast, a jovial Adam Okaro on the other side of the door.

"Oh Andrea, I'm sorry about that," A gentleman he holds out his arm, encouraging her into the kitchen. "I keep telling Denise we need a glass panel or something."

"It's a great party Sir, thanks for inviting me," Andrea says, unsure really of what to say.

"Well I wish I could take all the credit," Okaro steps away from the path of a caterer. "Denise did it all, she's an organising genius, between charities and school functions she's had plenty of practise and she makes it look easy."

"I'd imagine running Sun Hill's not easy either," Andrea comments, sweetening the party host a little.

"Yes, thank you Andrea," He laughs. "I've got this speech to give at midnight and I need to practice, walk with me while I try and find someplace quiet to rehearse it."

"Sure but I'm not sure you'll find a quiet place," Andrea assures him, grabbing some food as it passes on a polished silver platter.

"Tell me about it, everyone for a ten mile radius is here tonight and Barton Street's too afraid to turn up about the noise because all the brass here would turn them away," Adam says over his shoulder, leading them through an expected maze of people and furniture.

"It's just as well," Andrea says, she's glad it goes unheard but.

At the back of the house Adam Okaro opens the door to a sitting room similar to the one she'd been in earlier with Honey and Yvonne.

"You've had a great year as an officer Andrea," He takes Andrea by surprise.

She'd been scanning the decorations of the room and the people sitting in chairs around a low table.

"Thank you Sir, that's very kind of you to say," Andrea accepts graciously.

"You'll be finished your probation soon, which direction would you like to take in your career?"

"I really hadn't thought about it," Andrea answers honestly. "I sort of thought I should get some more experience on the street."

"That's a good idea but you shouldn't procrastinate for too long," Okaro advises.

"I guess I could see myself in CID someday," Andrea shrugs.

"Good," Okaro accepts. "Now tell me if you think this sounds OK."

Andrea listens to the speech that will be delivered just before midnight, gives it her stamp of approval and graciously exits the presence of the Superintendent.

She resumes the search for her friends.

Like the front of the house it's quieter at the back where Andrea is and a familiar raucous laughter rises to compete with the music. Inside the room, Tony and Roger sit in a cushioned sofa across from Gina Gold in a single arm chair. They've commandeered a bottle of champagne from somewhere which sits on the table between them. A heavier spirit bottle sits facing Gina and the half a tray of food that sits between them is too much of an enticement for Andrea.

"I'm starved," She emphasises, not waiting to be invited to sit down.

"Andrea!" The guys cheer, raising their glasses.

"Guess you don't need Tony's excuse to get you back to the pub then," Gina comments after Andrea has almost literally stuffed her face.

A look of almost horror crosses Andrea's face, "You told her?" She scolds Tony.

"In Tony's defence it was only because the Inspector said she brought her own scotch in case it was all alcopops," Roger explains.

"Fair enough," Andrea says simply and pours herself a glass of champagne in someone else's glass. Roger starts in on a bad joke and Andrea decides to stay with them for a while.

Somewhere between Tony's fifth story, Gina's third glass of scotch and Roger's seventh joke, the person standing in the doorway grabs Andrea's peripheral vision.

Jonathon Fox, good looks accelerated by his head of silver hair, features kind and well blessed despite time, body tall and lean, does not take his eyes off one member of their private party.

Sitting across from him in his office once, Andrea wondered if she were older if Jonathon Fox would be someone she'd consider dating, She'd shaken the thought off then and there and had gone back to discussing the case.

Jonathon's eyes watch the moves of only one person in the room and it's not Andrea. He sips from his glass at intervals, waiting for the object of his affection to turn around.

"Who else came with you?" Gina asks Andrea, having dropped out of the conversation taking place between the boys. Andrea takes the opening and nods her head delicately and subtly behind Gina towards Jonathon, naturally Gina turns.

His head immediately dips, embarrassed to be caught in such a vulnerable and open look. He gathers courage and looks up, a smile gradually spreading over his face.

"Excuse me," Gina says quietly and heads towards Jonathon.

Andrea wants so desperately to watch the interaction, though she and Gina have never really forged a friendship, Andrea could conceive of her superior being lonely.

She wanted the best for her.

And gossip though she had in the past, together these two seem like a good match.

After a minute or two Andrea does a sweep of the room, pausing longer as she passes Gina and Jonathon.

It's like watching a repeat showing of Phil and Sam earlier in the evening. The chemistry weaves its way between them, Gina smiling like Andrea has never seen before.

They laugh together and the tension between them eases further.

"What time is it?" Andrea snaps her head around and asks Tony and Roger.

"Ten minutes till New Year," Tony announces.

"Is there something going on in the main room, speeches and a countdown or something?" She's deliberately vague.

"I'm not going out there, I heard someone saying that the karaoke machine is being rolled out soon," Roger shakes his head.

Andrea's interest fades and she subtly turns around the watch Gina and Jonathon again. An affectionate hand rests on her arm, he's telling her that something is alright.

"Guys I'm going to dance," Andrea says absently as she turns back to Tony and Roger. "And I'm going to count down to New Year and I'm going to watch the fireworks," She lists.

"Have fun," Cynical Roger returns.

Truth...she doesn't want to be alone when she counts down to the number one.

"Ask me what you want to know," Andrea clearly hears Jonathon says as she passes on her way out. On the other side of the doorway she pauses...eavesdropping. "The answer is the one you want to hear, I'm here alone... I'm free."

Outside the room Andrea's back thumps against the wall. She looks to the ceiling, blinking away a tear.

She's not sure why.

"Champagne for the midnight toast," A young waiter appears in front of Andrea, taken by surprise she mumbles an incoherent thank you, the glass rests limply in her hand, her party spirit suddenly flat.

Each of the hundreds of people who have piled into the main room turns around as the music suddenly cuts out and the room fills with light. Andrea's ears instantly start ringing, her eyes squinting in the new brightness and like everyone else she looks around for the source of the disruption.

"Sorry for the interruption folks," Adam Okaro as he rises above the crowd. "But I wanted to say a few things before we ring in the New Year."

The United Nations of parties is accompanied by a speech that's worthy of the general assembly. An effortless and appreciative host, Adam Okaro first thanks everyone for coming and his family and neighbours. The obligatory jokes sprinkled through it elicits polite laughs but Andrea doesn't laugh she's heard them already.It's then down to business, MET business.

Okaro boasts what a great year it was for Sun Hill, their glowing stats, clear up rates the best they've ever been. Those who received commendations and awards are named and in the same breath the rest of their station are thanked for their tireless hard work and dedication. Having praised the MET he moves onto the community of the borough of Canley, emphasising that there is still work to do despite a great year, the successes they've had and the relationships formed.

It's word for word what he read to Andrea earlier in the night.

"That's enough for me," He concludes to applause. "I'll get down before the final countdown begins," Having heard the speech twice, that's what Andrea really wants to applaud.

"But first I'd like to propose a toast, to the New Year, here's a toast to the future, a toast to the past, and a toast to our friends, family and colleagues who are far and near. May the future be pleasant; the past a bright dream and may our friends remain faithful and dear."

As Andrea raises her glass a familiar hand grabs her shoulder.

"Where have you been, I've been looking all over," Andrea exclaims having spun around, a little relieved also to have found her friends.

The music goes back on, barely a whisper compared to the level it was at and her attention is turned to a number of televisions in the room which flash celebrations from other parts of the world.

"I'm excited now," Yvonne says and grips Andrea's hand almost to death. Like a child at Christmas Yvonne jiggles a little on the spot with anticipation. The lights in the room dim as the clock counts five minutes, four minutes and three. Party streamers and whistles are passed around. Two minutes then one and then there are only seconds left to count.

There's nothing to be heard over the voices when yell as they count down from ten. Yvonne, still full of anticipation can't stand still, their hands still clasped tightly. Andrea counts, mouthing the numbers until they get to three.

It's then she closes her eyes and makes a wish.

The room erupts and Yvonne scoops Andrea into her embrace, streamers fly past Andrea's head as she hugs her closest friend. When Yvonne lets her down Andrea looks around, no one is alone, not even her.

Voices sing Auld Lang Syne, growing in strength and numbers.

"Where did you go just then?" Yvonne leans over, speaking right against Andrea's ear.

"When?"

"Right before midnight?"

"I made a wish," Andrea replies, unable to drown out the noise. Yvonne can lips read and hugs her friend tightly.

"You OK?" Yvonne asks concerned.

"Sure, New Year, clean slate," Andrea puts a smile on her face.

"Let's get another drink," Yvonne says brightly, Andrea's midnight one had spilt on the ground when Yvonne hugged her. In the background the music picks up again, drowning out the traditional New Year song.

"Can we dance instead?" Andrea requests, leading Yvonne by the hand through the groups of guests and onto the temporary small dance floor.

Closing her eyes the music pounds in Andrea's ears and mimics her heartbeat and she loses herself in it for song after song. She barely notices if Yvonne's still with her or when Honey joins them, allowing herself to move with the flow of the music.

"I'm going to get some air, it's hot in here, come with?" Yvonne asks Andrea as one song fades and is intertwined to the next.

"Take Honey, I'll be here when you get back," Andrea shakes her head, the exercise endorphins have her feeling good and she wants to hold onto the natural high.

"Promise I won't ditch you again," Yvonne teases but something has already stolen Andrea's attention.

A familiar and grinding voice drowns out the lyrics to the pop song, it's mere seconds till Yvonne and Honey's look sours and they turn to look behind them.

Andrea clamps her hands over her ears to drown out the voice and her teeth grate as Gary Best butchers he pop song.

"Make him stop he's killing my natural high," Andrea whines to her friends. Silently she curses the person who gave Gary the microphone.

"Look at him up there, he's acting like Robbie Williams performing at Wembley Stadium," Honey shakes her head, embarrassed for her colleague who jumps and stomps his way across the raised stage area. A nearby TV flashes the lyrics but Gary doesn't need them.

"Well that's killed it for me," Yvonne shrugs. "I'm not coming back in."

Andrea is happy to go with them now.

"I could use some water," She yells to Yvonne who has taken the lead with Honey beside her.

Suddenly Yvonne does an about face and Andrea finds herself stopping suddenly. Honey smiles and turns swiftly mere seconds later.

"Come on guys I'm thirsty and I want to get away from the cat strangling that's going on," Andrea has tired of the jokes.

"Nine o'clock," Yvonne says and Honey agrees.

"What?" Andrea says annoyed. "It's gone one."

"Look to nine o'clock," Honey elaborates and Andrea flicks her head to the left.

"Our nine o'clock, your three o'clock," Yvonne corrects and Andrea shoots her look to the right.

The DCI and an attractive brunette stand talking to Terry Perkins and Ramani DeCosta which ordinarily wouldn't be unusual except for the little fingers of the left and right hands reach out for one another, they duel, touch and retract in a subtle intimate game.

"Aww, that's so sweet," Honey gushes.

"Yeah, they're closeted and their not even gay," Andrea says ironically.

"OK, time for some fresh air," Yvonne senses the shift in Andrea.

* * *

The brush past is severe enough to bump Honey into Yvonne who's just about to turn around and abuse the careless party-goer when Andrea practically squeals.

"You made it!" She makes her way around Yvonne to Lance so they can do their handshake. "Good to see you Mark."

"Sorry about the bump there, this place is packed," Lance apologises after greeting Yvonne and Honey.

"You decided to come that's terrific," Andrea is enthusiastic, knowing Lance's frustration at Mark's unwillingness to partake in public events.

"Lance said the Super owed him a beer," Mark reasons. "And I though we should put in an appearance. I hear from Tony this is quite a diverse party, so I guess we add to the mix."

"So where's the best spot to be?" Lance asks looking around.

"That sound that's making me grate my teeth is Gary singing," Andrea explains. "We were just getting away from it when you bumped into us." Andrea explains.

"The food and the alcohol are that way," Honey points in the general direction of the kitchen.

"The quietest spots are in the front and back rooms," Yvonne adds.

"And upstairs is out of bounds according to Okaro's kids," Andrea finishes and Mark looks questioningly at her.

"Long story," Andrea waves her hand indicating for him not to bother.

"You want a drink?" Lance asks the three women.

"No thanks, we're going to head out the back where it's quiet," Honey declines the offer. "See you later?" Yvonne indicates and the four say their temporary goodbyes.

"I'm glad you came," Andrea says to Lance and Mark before heading after Honey and Yvonne.

The room suddenly empties of Gary Best's voice and Andrea says a silent thanks on behalf of her ears. The next song starts, strains of 'on a night like this' fill the room without accompanyment from anoyone else.

"I love this song," Yvonne stops and turns to Honey, they both look to Andrea.

"Not even if my butt could look as good as hers," Andrea replies to their visual suggestion. "I'll see you out the back when you're done."

Andrea happily watches her friends disappear onto the dancing floor crowd and then continues on, politely cutting a path for herself towards the peace of the back room.

"Excuse me," She says politely, squeezing past a tall and well built man, her destination in sight.

That's when she sees him.

Instantly she wishes she could turn back and hide behind him.

She can't turn back because he's seen her too.

The man she didn't think she would see in a party this size.

The man who has consumed her past 12 months.

Neil.

* * *

**Instructions**: Now move onto reading alternative endings all of which stem from this point. 


	2. Alternate ending 1

**Title**: New Years Eve...Ending One

**Author**: Loz & Meegan Boulton

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Stand alone, not related to anything else I've done. See also 'How this works'

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated. I'd love to hear which of the endings was your favourite.

**Summary**: A NYE party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.

**How this works**: Ok so you used to be able to get those books where you could 'choose your own adventure' and this is kind like that. You read the first part and the rest are alternative endings to the first part with different sets of circumstances and outcomes for Neil and Andrea.

**Note**: This is actually a co-effort with Meegan Boulton so all compliments/criticisms etc should also be sent in her direction even though I'm the one posting this story.

**Future**: This story is not finished and I anticipate there will be as many as 9 or 10 alternative endings.

**Disclaimers**: It's a new year and I still can't claim ownership of The Bill.

* * *

Andrea watches him walk over, cocky, arrogant and confident as ever. His eyes seem to grab hers as he closes the distance between them and she is powerless to turn and walk away.

He doesn't for one moment hesitate.

"Happy New Year," He wishes formally. It has an air of senior to subordinate about it. That's the only way they talk to one another anymore, it's the only way she wants to given what she's gone through over him.

"Happy New Year," Andrea says back quietly.

There's an uncomfortable silence, one of lovers gone wrong, angry words spoken, hurt and frustration.

She looks into the crowd of unfamiliar faces, desperate for a reason to excuse herself but she can find none.

"Can I talk to you, somewhere quiet?" The kind and gentle tone has her eyes right back on him. He hasn't spoken to her like that since the last time they were together happily as a couple.

She has to remind herself of all the horrible things he's done in the past 12 months...she's not over him yet and nice words from him still make her heart skip.

"Neil, I don't think it's such a good idea..." For so many reasons, other than the fact the room is full of brass. She knows also if he's nice she'll let herself be sucked right back in, resolution or not.

"It'll be alright," He assures her. "It's important and it won't take long," He points towards the back of the house and for all her strength as an officer she relents and heads in the direction he indicates. He follows her closely, not giving her the option to slip away unnoticed from behind.

It's the same back room she'd been in earlier with Tony, Roger and Gina and she says a small thanks that they're gone when she enters the room, Neil still trailing behind her. The only evidence of their presence is an empty champagne bottle and glasses now creating ringed stains on the table.

Andrea curls up in one of the armchairs and slides one of the cushions in front of her...a barrier, protection and comfort all at once.

As he closes the door she tells herself over and over to be strong.

"Neil we agreed to end things," She starts before he's even had a chance to sit down. "We made a decision to go our separate ways and to keep our relationship strictly professional. We weren't going to talk about things, we agreed to make the decision and make it final, not to come back later and say we'd changed our minds," She recounts the terms of their agreement to him, it hadn't taken long to agree to.

"I know," he says evenly and nods. Andrea fights his demeanor which is slowly unravelling her walls of protection.

"Neil I count last year as one of the worst ever for me personally, the way you treated me, your indecision, your moods, on then off, hot them cold. If there was an award for stringing someone along..." Andrea stops herself, she's spent long enough crying over him and being angry at him, this is a new year... no more.

"I know," She immediately jumps to cynical, deciding it's another ploy to get something he wants, it's part of her self protection. 'Just one more night', 'closure,' 'I don't want to be alone tonight' she runs through all the pathetic lines he could use, as if knowing all the possibilities will keep her enamoured.

"I came looking for you tonight, I knew you were coming, it was no accident we came face to face," Andrea doesn't comment, waiting for him to add the rest. The fact that he's slightly smug about somehow finding out her plans irritates her.

He doesn't comment, waiting for a reaction from her before he proceeds and stubbornly, a characteristic more prevalent in her, he waits in silence.

"Well I didn't want to see you tonight Neil, you were the absolute last person on earth I wanted to see. It's the New Year and I wanted to make a fresh start," Having heard enough and said what she wants to, making herself clear for the second time that night, she stands and heads for the door.

"I've been thinking up until midnight, a lot lately actually – whenever I had a moment," Andrea stops, back to him and waits... she doesn't have to for long. "About us and the past year, how I behaved."

For a moment Andrea tilts her head back, looking up at the cornices in that join the walls to the ceiling and shakes her head astounded.

When she does turn her voice is full of bitter biting. "Well that's great for you Neil... what can I say but finally. It's a pity you couldn't have had such bouts of self reflection while you were treating me the way you did. If only wishing made it so and I did a lot of that. But it's good for you because you've got all the time in the world now to reflect on how much you hurt me. Goodnight Neil."

"Andrea wait," He comes back almost immediately, this time she's gotten as far as opening the door slightly.

"What for Neil, so I can listen to you try and make your way back into my affections for one more night. Apologise enough, say the right things and I'll be putty in your hands for one more night, just so you don't have to start the New Year alone," She becomes abasing and feels only slightly bad for the confidence she has in the upper hand she's acquired.

"I don't want just a night...I miss you," Her preparation serves her well, anger forced from every pore.

Unwilling to respond she turns and wrenches the door open, it bangs on the wall but she pays no attention to the cracking sound as the plaster behind it crushes away leaving a door handle sized dent when her left arm is grabbed.

Hard enough that pain shoots up her shoulder.

In a move that surprises even her, she turns and shoves him back by his shoulders with a moderate amount of force, enough none-the-less to make him stumble and have to steady himself.

"You don't get to jerk me around anymore. I've had enough last year for a lifetime. Once shame on you, twice shame on me," Neil seems stunned whether it was the physical push or the verbal rebuttal of his admission he appears off kilter and stares past her over her left shoulder.

Andrea passes feeling empowered by her affirmation and actions and is neither pleased with herself or angry with him, the party has dissolved into something she no long wants to be present for and all she wants now is to go home.

"Goodnight Neil, Happy New Year," She says politely and turns once again for the door she's once already unsuccessfully made it to.

His call of wait comes faintly below the noise of the party she's let in when the door opens. He's used up his one and only 'wait' and she ignores him.

Tension floods from her frame once she's passed through the doorway, a public place for them is like sunlight to vampires, he just won't risk it. The crowd has thinned but the heavy beat of the music continues to drown out all of her other senses.

Except one.

The brush of his hand slightly across her elbow creates a ripple effect of chills up and down her arm, she curses herself for her weakness... never being able to completely walk away from him with a clean break.

"Come back into the room and hear me out," He asks to her back and Andrea catches some movement out of the corner of her eye, it's Honey and Yvonne laughing and falling over one another in a group of people she doesn't recognise. She turns her back on them immediately and Neil takes it as a positive sign.

"Walk away," She emphasises each word, using the same authoritative tone that she would when she puts on her uniform... this is not a request.

To her horror but not disbelief his hand slides down her wrist to her fingers, despite the obvious public location her skin still tingles. She tries to jerk her hand from his grasp but she's not quick enough and he slides his hand into hers until they're interlocked.

"My friends are just over there, let go of me and walk away," She plants her feet and her weight as Neil takes a step backward, their joined hands stretched between them. In the end she relents, not needing to convince herself that for the moment she can avoid any probing questions from her friends by following him.

"Let go of me Neil," She says angrily and glares at him after successfully pulling her hand from his. "Thank you for continuing to be an arrogant as..." She stops herself, leaving the petty name calling in a box. "And for ruining my night and New Ye..."

His lips silence her.

He kisses her hard, arms and hands around her to stop himself being pushed away which she desperately tries to do. After a few moments her lips stop trying to resist his assault, she sees it now, feels it.

His desperation is like a bad taste in her mouth and it only repels her further.

She pushes him off, this time without the force to have him stumble. She feels sorry for him and wonders what happened to him before their eyes locked across the party to bring on such desperation. Had Philippa decided that last year would be the last she'd spend with him?

This time he is afforded no courtesy, she turns to scan the crowd and see if any one's attention has been taken by their little tousle.

Nausea floods her stomach and it's her turn now to stumble backwards and her eyes drop to the floor. The millisecond they met and held with Philippa's seemed longer than Andrea had spent wishing Neil wasn't married to her.

Her shoulder charges into Neil as she turns and flees past him, back into the room, slamming the door shut behind her she can almost pretend what just happened on the other side of the door never did. It doesn't matter that there's only one way in and out of the room, there's something that divides her from the look of utter devastation that was just on Philippa's face. Her knees bend under her, the scene plays over and over inside her head as she slides down the door, the discussion she'd imagined had taken place between Neil and Philippa was almost certain to now.

She hugs herself hoping to comfort herself and her nausea away. Her eyes pool with tears, for who and what reason she doesn't know... mostly she's angry with herself and shocked.

For allowing herself to be drawn back to him and for causing the inevitable nastiness she will have just started.

After a few minutes she has talked herself around to the fact it takes two to tango but also the more sobering fact it would probably be best now to transfer far from here.

She is amazed for a moment at how a simple celebration has come crashing down on not just her.

The door presses against her back, inching her slightly across the carpet, the handle jingles and from the moment she's made it, the split second decision seems to be the wrong one.

Andrea shuffles across, childishly hoping the door will remain open after whoever it is enter and she can hide with her shame behind it.

"Andrea?" The voice asks hesitantly and adrenaline shoots through her as soon as she recognises the voice, it's not one of her friends come to see where she is or how she is.

The adrenaline has her pushing herself quickly to her feet, the same arm slams the door closed again, revealing that her ears weren't playing tricks.

"What the hell are you doing?" She spits out, astounded he has not gone after Philippa as she expected he would. "Do you know what sort of spectacle you've just put on out there in front of your wife?"

"You wouldn't listen to me," He almost whines and Andrea has the overwhelming desire to slap him and hard because she just spent the last few minutes feeling like a lower human than a criminal and he's just removed himself from that partial responsibility. "I sort of planned this actually."

He adds it like it's an innocent sidebar of no consequence, "Excuse me?"

Andrea is unable to find any other words and they choke their way out. This is the statement that embodied the saying that someone cannot believe their ears she realises.

"I told her last year," Neil says simply.

"What?" Andrea's confusion runs deeper.

"I told her last year that we were over," It clears up nothing.

"I'm sorry."

"I told Philippa five minutes before midnight that our marriage was over and that I loved you and wanted to be with you."

The fact that she's no longer responsible for Philippa finding out is no comfort to Andrea, she'll never be able to erase the image of the look on her face. But it's Neil's actions that turn her cold and he's beyond deserving a good slap across the face.

"What? Talk to me," A slight smile crosses his face.

"What did you think would happen if you did this? That I'd run into your arms and forget everything?" She starts out angrily but fades to a laugh of astonishment.

"You're, this, the way you orchestrated this is disgusting. I felt sick to my stomach a few minutes ago and you coldly planned the whole thing. You haven't changed. You haven't changed at all. You're still acting the same way... only this time it isn't me on the receiving end, it was your wife."

"I thought this is exactly what you wanted," It's becoming obvious to Andrea he can't understand why she's refused him. Andrea feels like the sheep in front of her has just taken off his outer layer and she can't believe she didn't see the wolf before now.

It seems impossible now that she could ever feel like running back to him without question, as she had a twinge of at the beginning of the night.

She could yell and abuse, she could threaten and tell him what a bastard he is with details of how sick his behaviour makes her feel but it's all good energy wasted on him. Though he's brought it entirely on himself she feels pity for him as he's soon to be very alone and he'll find it a difficult adjustment.

"Goodnight," She says simply, somehow wishing him a Happy New Year again would be pointed.

Andrea closes the door behind her and doesn't look back.

She feels herself walk taller through the declining number of party-goers, like she does when she has new shoes or is dressed up to go out. There's something lifted from her, something that was holding her down and now she has a greater sense of freedom.

She grabs a glass of champagne and downs it like it's water.

At the front of the house she smiles flirtingly at the guy who hands her, her coat.

"Starting the New Year by going home alone?" Andrea's driven behind lorries less loaded than his question.

"Yeah I am actually, my New Years resolution, take care of me," With a small thanks she steps out of the Okaro house and onto the footpath where a few lazy snowflakes have began to drift down.

Her coat keeps out the bitter cold until she can get into the cab being vacated by a group of friends and for a moment Andrea hesitates to get in, thinking she should go back inside and say goodbye to hers.

"No talent in there, moving onto the next party miss?" The driver asks her as she watches the group heading up the front steps.

"No, home please," She instructs the driver of her address and sits back into the seat, coat pulled warmly around her.

She smiles.

* * *

The End 


	3. Alternate ending 2

**Title**: New Years Eve...Ending Two

**Author**: Loz & Meegan Boulton

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Stand alone, not related to anything else I've done. See also 'How this works'

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated. I'd love to hear which of the endings was your favourite.

**Summary**: A NYE party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.

**How this works**: Ok so you used to be able to get those books where you could 'choose your own adventure' and this is kind like that. You read the first part and the rest are alternative endings to the first part with different sets of circumstances and outcomes for Neil and Andrea.

**Note**: This is actually a co-effort with Meegan Boulton so all compliments/criticisms etc should also be sent in her direction even though I'm the one posting this story.

**Future**: This story is not finished and I anticipate there will be as many as 9 or 10 alternative endings.

**Disclaimers**: It's a new year and I still can't claim ownership of The Bill.

* * *

Neil walks over inconspicuously and without hesitation, carefully checking where the attention of those around him are. Nobody else could care less about them, their banter blurs and fills her ears. 

Andrea tries to keep a straight face but the sight of him heading towards her has her bowing her head and smiling, pretending to admire her pedicure.

She knows she should put her head up and nod him to stay away but he's smiling now as well. It's a well practiced ritual, perfected in the corridors of Sun Hill police station for many months.

"Happy New Year," he says enthused and maybe a little drunk. He holds her gently by both upper arms and she feels the slight prickle from his whiskers as his lips press gently against her cheek.

He lingers a little longer than he should.

His aftershave wafts its way softly around her nostrils. It brings back memories of him standing in her bathroom applying it, of warm night holding each other closely.

It all seems like such a short time ago.

She repays his verbal and physical sentiment.

He pulls away from her and smiles, his arms sliding down and off hers. They probably shouldn't be seen together she thinks but makes no effort to check around them.

"You weren't alone at midnight were you?" Andrea thinks she hears a tiny amount of regret in his voice...that he wasn't there.

She shakes her head.

"I wish I could have been with you," The comment is unexpected and she can't help but wonder. This time last year the wish was highly desired and she recalls cursing him as she stood next to the same people she had this year.

There's a lot of water under the bridge now... and many other things.

"We shouldn't be out in the open like this," Andrea says what she was going to earlier. They'd gone to painstaking lengths to keep their relationship a secret, the irony is if rumour were to get out now it was over, it would be just as damaging for both of them.

"I came looking for you, can we talk?" They're words more likely to be heard coming out of her mouth. It's the second of his comments that have her mind turning over.

"I need another drink first," She says cheekily and looks around her for one of the waiters that have seemed to appear from nowhere tonight.

"It's not going to be that bad," He replies and to Andrea's surprise returning the joke. "I know a quiet spot."

She follows him weaving through the crowd of people, he glances back occasionally to check she hasn't slipped away. It takes so long she begins to wonder just how big the house is and just what he wants to talk about.

Neil opens the door to a room at the very back of the house, waiting for her to go in first like a gentleman, the warmth from the fire hits her, she wasn't cold before and now she's almost uncomfortable.

A door to the right leads outside and the large windows that fill the walls of the room overlook the backyard that's painted in ink black darkness.

Over sized maroon sofas surround the fire in a half circle.

Andrea picks the double seater sofa and sits with her legs underneath her, sinking into the depths of the cushion between her and the arm.

She can feel the warmth of the room slowing her down, sleepiness creeping in and she stares off towards the fire that jumps and crackles. When Neil closes the door the sound does not disturb her.

The sofa depresses next to her and she can't draw herself from the fire that she's now transfixed by. "You hate these things," She observes, when his reply comes she snaps herself away.

Neil laughs, "I know, but you know how it is, attendance is not expected but you're conspicuous by your absence. You're supposed to be seen to be supporting the station and the MET, building relationships with the community. Then of course if you're chasing promotion it helps to find out what's out there, where the movement is, the opportunities, who's retiring, who's not happy, who your competition is."

Andrea shifts, legs still folded under her she rests her right side of the back of the sofa. She's long known Neil has always been more comfortable in the confines of his castle... his home.

"I was thinking about us tonight," She makes a point of making eye contact, it's a true confession that slips out without the aid of the drink she wanted and never got. Suddenly not confident about how he will react to what she has to say, Andrea grabs the cushion from behind her and crosses her arms over it.

Neil's reply comes in the form of a non-committal 'oh'. It encourages her to go on, if only to backpedal should he not feel the same.

"Just about the time we were together and..." When she looks up he's nodding but is far away, staring towards the fire as she had earlier. She assumes he's not really listening.

"Reminiscing," He offers the word she could not find and turns from the fire, slower than she had. His eyes take in each inch of her face as the rest of him shifts closer to her.

"Yeah you know, good times," Andrea says softly, the combination of dulling alcohol, a warm room and their close proximity has her swirling in memories of them when they were together.

"They were," Neil adds, a hesitant hand reaches out and brushes her cheek. She leans into it, eyes slowly closing.

"Best nights of the week were the ones when you were coming over," She begins.

"Remember our weekend away?" It was the only time they'd been together for more than a few hours at a time. She'd been so happy to not have to walk behind him.

"Your phone calls and messages," She still has them. "Meeting in empty interview rooms," She laughs at the memory of the time that they had to come up with a quick excuse when the door burst open.

"I remember you burning my toast in the morning," He gently teases.

"I'm still not used to the motor oil you call coffee," She gets her own back.

"Our co-ordinated arrival and exit from the station," It was often so ludicrous.

"Wishing the days would go faster because it was still too many until we'd see each other again."

"Sleeping next to you, waking up with you," There feels like there's more but he pauses. "I remember just being with you is the best thing in the world."

It's hard not to look back at the fire this time, her memories are as warm as the flames and fresh as if it all happened yesterday, the longer she reminisces the more she wants to wade right back there and create new ones.

"Do you think we made the wrong decision?" It comes after a long comfortable silence and out of her peripheral vision she can see his focus is in the same place as hers. Andrea wonders if he's contemplated this as long as she has.

"Splitting up?" She confirms but is met with silence. "I don't know maybe," She watches him massage his face with open palms as though there is something getting the best of him.

"You were clear, we were clear, we discussed it for hours," She remembers the night, sitting at her dining table and then crying with her head down on it when he left.

It was the right decision, just not the one she wanted.

"I don't know," She reacts to the movement of his head, he's looking back at her now. "I just shouldn't have looked back and turned my decision into a regret."

"Or maybe you see things clearer now, now you're not in the middle of it and you've had time and space," She suggests neutrally. This is what he wanted to talk about and she knows now what he was reflecting from the year just passed before the hand on the clock ticked over.

"Maybe," He says, shifting himself again, this time so he's facing her. In the silence that's punctuated by the crackle of the fire she crosses her legs and shuffles until she's facing him also.

"We were good together," She reminds him dropping the side of her head into the soft high back of the sofa.

"We were," His answers raw and a touch emotional, from his silence she assumes he's continuing to reflect and remember.

"Are the reasons that we used last year still there?" She asks though it's more of her wondering out loud than expecting an answer. Her left hand runs absently along the contours of the fabric.

"No," Stunned she sits up and looks directly at him. For the first time she realises that this is more than just two people who have split up and retained affection for one another remembering their time together.

He's watching her intently, waiting to see how she reacts, looking for a non-verbal response.

It's written all over her face and her heartbeat she's sure he can hear.

"Philippa, your marriage," She looks down into her lap where her fingers fidget with the soft material of her black dress pants. "You were going to give it another go."

Only for the reply does she look up.

"I have," He starts out softly. "It's not working," She doesn't envy him his situation however responsible or not she may be for it. "There's one argument I should have made last year that I didn't and I have always regretted not."

"What is it?" Her voice is brittle, holding back a mass of emotion that will escape if he says what, deep down, she wants to hear from him and what she wants to say back.

His same hand reaches out and cups the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheek. "That I'm in love with you," He says so softly it's almost a whisper.

"Are you saying that you want to try again?" She knows what he's just told her is the one argument that would have cancelled out all the others. It's the one thing she wants to say back, the one thing she wants desperately to react to by crying, kissing and holding him.

There's nothing she can do to stop the one tear that rolls free or to stop him placing his other hand on her cheek.

Emotions and passion had ruled them their first time together and they'd ended up reluctantly apart after making their first and only sensible decision together, she's not going to let there be a repeat.

Gently he brings their foreheads together and Andrea closes her eyes and breathes in deeply, calming herself which is fruitless now they are closer.

"What about Philippa?" She opens her eyes wanting all obstructions cleared, as well as her conscience.

"I've looked back over the past 12 months and there were so many thing I regret about the decision we made, not just what I didn't say," His answer's just not clear enough to satisfy Andrea.

"You've told her how you feel?" Her finger tips trace across the slight stubble on his cheek.

If he says yes then they'll be in the clear.

"Not yet," and Andrea's fingers slide away, her eyes close with the disappointment of just how close they were. She pulls back from him and his hands drop with the movement.

"I made the same argument, the one that you just..." Her voice fades and her attention goes back to the fire. "I had the same argument," Her ability to phrase herself is fading. "I made the same argument to myself a hundred times before you walked out my door for the last time."

"Andrea look at me," He asks and she complies. "I think we made the wrong decision."

The love and affection in his eyes, the hope that she'll agree with him isn't enough. He's proposing a return to the same situation and she's yet to be convinced, yet to be sure. If there is to be a 'this time' she wants it to be different.

Wordlessly he leans in towards her, his first soft kiss met with no reaction from her, his gentle persistence convinces and she deepens the kiss, completely abandoning anything rational and any concerns she has.

Her hands caress the back of his neck and glide through his short cut dark hair.

"I love you," She finally says, a brief pause which is cut by Neil for whom words are irrelevant, there are other, better ways of expressing things.

Andrea hears the door open but pays it no mind, her focus is elsewhere and she doesn't make the connection to a potentially awkward moment approaching.

"Excuse me," The voice says loudly and sharply, Andrea jumps in shock from the initial interruption, despite having heard the door open. Neil does the same and they part, it's then Andrea recognises the voice.

She can see the impeccably dressed Philippa Manson standing in the doorway out of the corner of her eye. Andrea dares not make eye contact with Neil who at least has his back to his wife, escaping some of her wrath.

Under her breath Andrea mumbles about the situation and turns her back to both Mr and Mrs Manson. Facing the fire again her palms rub her face as Neil has earlier.

"I knew it all along," Philippa spits out and a moment later the door slams. Andrea's shoulders sink and hunch over.

She waits for the sofa to move and for Neil to follow his wife but it never happens.

"You should go after her," Andrea says to the collective stunned silence. When she doesn't immediately get an answer Andrea turns back around to find Neil's shoulders hunched over as well.

"Neil?" She prompts, reaching out to touch his arm.

He looks over to where her hand is and it's a moment before he replies. "No, I won't make excuses for myself."

"You can't pretend it didn't happen either," Andrea reminds him.

"I couldn't tell her or I didn't know how or when to and for that I'm a coward and now this has happened so I can add bastard to the list. The one thing I couldn't do was start the New Year without telling you that I love you and I think we made the wrong decision and I want us to give a relationship another go. I can't and I won't walk out that door, face whatever I deserve to, explain whatever I need to before finding out if you feel the same way," He shifts on the sofa and carefully slides her hand into his.

"You go after her and you go home with her and you apologise for making a fool of her and embarrassing her, then you explain," Andrea instructs him.

"And..?" Neil asks hopefully, her tone is serious but he's not about to assume what she means.

"I stood with my friends at midnight," Andrea seems to change track. "Just before midnight I closed my eyes and made a wish. I didn't care when it happened this year, I wished that at sometime this year there would be something, some reason that would bring us back together."

Presuming nothing Neil stays quiet.

"Explain to Philippa if you like," Andrea pauses to brush away a few tears. "That I am sorry..." Neil's heart lurches and the grip on her hand lessens as he assumes her answer is not the one he thought he would get a couple of minutes earlier. "That I'm sorry but I'm in love with you and that I want to have you in my life, I want a future with you."

Andrea's smile lights up her face and she quickly finds herself being held tightly by Neil. He exhales in relief and the tension flows out of him. They kiss uninhibited now and the enormity of their new situation beings more tears to Andrea's eyes.

"No rational decisions here," Andrea laughs as she brushes her hair out of her face, Neil gently pushes it behind her ears.

"I'm glad about that," He says watching her which he'd never get sick of. "I love you."

Another broad smile crosses her face and with the pad of her finger she traces some of the features of his face. "I love you too, very much."

"I don't want to leave you right now," He confesses, it's not hard to understand given what he will go home to.

Andrea won't weigh in on whether he should go and find Philippa now or wait until her anger may have simmered.

"I'm going to go, though," Andrea touches the knot in his tie though it needs no adjusting and runs her fingers down the silk.

Neil looks disappointed.

"It's late and this night can't get any better for me in this room, in this house," She pauses contemplating how to say what she wants to next, tactfully. "I fell I should apologise to you for what you're about to go through when you go home and to your son in the near future because I am just as responsible."

Neil opens his mouth to absolve her of responsibility but Andrea stops him.

"Come over when you're done, it doesn't matter what time it is. I'll still be up waiting for you."

With a final sweet kiss Neil gets up out of the sofa. "I'll see you soon," He promises and heads for the doorway.

Andrea pulls her knees up to her chin and watches him leave.

"Andrea," he turns around in the doorway and she smiles over the back of the sofa at him. "We don't need to meet in empty rooms or co-ordinate our exit from rooms anymore."

"I'll walk out with you then," She says smiling.

As they rejoin the music, alcohol and celebrations, Andrea angles her little finger towards Neil who slides his hand into hers.

* * *

The End 


	4. Alternate ending 3

**Title**: New Years Eve...Ending Three

**Author**: Loz & Meegan Boulton

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Stand alone, not related to anything else I've done. See also 'How this works'

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated. I'd love to hear which of the endings was your favourite.

**Summary**: A NYE party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.

**How this works**: Ok so you used to be able to get those books where you could 'choose your own adventure' and this is kind like that. You read the first part and the rest are alternative endings to the first part with different sets of circumstances and outcomes for Neil and Andrea.

**Note**: This is actually a co-effort with Meegan Boulton so all compliments/criticisms etc should also be sent in her direction even though I'm the one posting this story.

**Future**: This story is not finished and I anticipate there will be as many as 9 or 10 alternative endings.

**Disclaimers**: It's a new year and I still can't claim ownership of The Bill.

* * *

Caught like an animal in headlights, Andrea stares across the room at Neil and he back at her. She waits for him to do or say something but after only mere seconds he scowls and turns and disappears back into the crowd of people.

She's shocked by his reaction and behaviour towards her and stands where she is until she's shaken off the horrible feeling he's given her.

They hadn't parted friends, that hadn't even parted acquaintances, they'd barely parted saying a civil word to each other. They had been able to maintain a professional relationship, albeit a strained one but it was relatively simple when they could avoid one another, working on separate floors.

He had never looked at her the way he did a few minutes ago and he'd certainly never changed course when they'd come across each other before.

There's nothing she'd done recently to justify such a rude reception.

Slightly angry she heads off towards the back of the house, figuring there would have to be somewhere that she can escape to and let the night air cool and calm her.

She'd promised herself she wouldn't let anything stop her from having a good time tonight, it was a part of her continuing saga that it was Neil who thwarted her best laid plans.

The first room she comes to has a fire place on the back wall and maroon sofas arranged around it. Two of the walls are made almost entirely of floor to ceiling glass, the left wall with a set of elegant French doors.

The couple in the room sitting on the sofas pay her no attention as Andrea steps out into the almost bitter cold, closing the doors behind her. She breathes in deeply but it's such a change in temperature that her lungs struggle to make the adjustment. Goosebumps plaster her body but the loud music has been drowned down to a continual base beat, she's alone with room to move and she's almost forgotten what went on inside.

It's just refreshing in the manner of an ice-cream on a snowy day.

There are no lights on in the house behind the Okaro's, the moon casts muted shadows across the objects in the backyard which by day would be benign things, the dark presents an opportunity for her imagination to run wild.

Beside her the doors open and when Andrea turns to see who will be disturbing her peace and solitude, Neil steps out. He shivers before he's even closed the door after him.

Andrea turns her attention back to the dark shapes and ignores him, resting against the guard rail that prevents her from falling down the modest metre drop from where she stands at the top of the stairs.

Behind her Neil shivers again and although Andrea knows it's just to get one up on him, she prevents herself from doing the same.

"I realised I was terribly rude just then, turning and walking away like I did, I wanted to apologise," Andrea senses him move towards her and although she continues to ignore him, out of the corner of her eye she sees him lean against the same rail that she is.

"You have plenty of reasons for walking away," It's true and as close to an acceptance of his apology that he'll get.

"It's a big party," He tries but Andrea isn't budging.

"Mmm, so big I was hoping not to run into you tonight, I actually thought this party was big enough," It's a pointed comment said snidely and Andrea hopes Neil gets her not so subtle message to leave.

He neither says anything nor leaves.

"Apology accepted you're off the hook," She relents, hoping her curt manner will send him a second hint.

"Andrea," He protests in a tone of voice that explains clearly that he thinks her tone and manner are uncooperative, unfair and uncalled for.

It's no longer cold enough to subdue her anger with has come back twofold and probably warms Neil when she turns sharply to look at him.

"No Neil, you don't get to be nice now it's January first. You don't get to do horrible things and then come and apologise to me expecting all will be forgiven. You don't get to wipe the slate clean of all the terrible things in the past or what you may do to me in the future. Frankly it would have been much better had you not felt you had to come out here," Andrea near explodes towards the end.

"I know things ended badly between us...but can't we..?" His voice fades as the incredilous look on Andrea's face strengthens.

"Badly, very badly, extremely badly. You told me it was over, you told me you were a married DI, I was a single probationer and you implied that I had less to lose than you did. You said you didn't want 'this' anymore and you were sorry and then you left me, without asking for my opinion, crying in the soft interview room as you walked away and didn't look back," Andrea's voice reaches a yell.

"And you rebuffed my apology in the canteen, just like you are now," He argues and Andrea is further astounded by what he believes he deserves from her.

"You really think you deserve my forgiveness," Andrea shrieks. "The way you treated me was disgusting." She turns back around, unwilling to further indulge him. It's then she says under her breath but loud enough for Neil to still hear, 'still is'.

"You really just think we can go back to..." She's not sure there's even a word for it.

"Just go Neil, leave, I came out here to get some fresh air," She tells him after a few minutes. She's calmed down, her tone belying how useless she thinks it is for them to talk further.

He makes no move to leave.

"At least you're not hiding from me like I have been from you tonight," He starts up and she'd leave herself but there's no way she's going to give up her spot no matter how cold her hands are. It's the principle of things, she could easily head back inside where he'd dare not continue any contact but in a petty moment she occasionally plays these immature games.

If he had successfully hid from her, she'd never have noticed the fact that makes her laugh out loud.

"Pathetic I know, childish, I should be more mature," Neil admits, assuming Andrea's laughing at him.

"I'm laughing because if this is the first time I've come across you tonight then there's more rooms in this house I haven't seen yet," Through her anger, nasty tones, yelling and laughing in his face Neil has remained calm and quiet.

"I'm ashamed of my behaviour Andrea, that's why I came out here," He apologises again and Andrea rolls her eyes, he actually thinks it will work. She refuses to be a party to him feeling better about himself.

"So you should, you hurt me," Andrea says quietly and sadly, it comes from the place that remembers the tears she cried.

"I know," Neil says softly and it compels Andrea to turn her head and look straight at him. His look of remorse is as genuine as his words have been, she turns away but bitter memories won't let her go easy on him.

"You just went in and ripped it all out from underneath me, callously and coldly," She reminds him, her anger renewing.

When he says nothing so goes on.

"I saw all these couples tonight, they were happy and smiling, laughing and full of affection. All I could think about was the past year and how I felt just like those couples do, then I wondered just how long it would be before one of them gets scared and decides to change their mind and pulls the legs out from underneath the other, just like you did to me," The further her explanation goes the more steamed up she gets.

"Andrea," He's not frustrated or angry and the calm, pleading voice he uses irritates her further. She refuses to bend to his will but congratulates herself for not losing it...yet.

"No Neil, you went back to your wife who you complained is as cold as I am standing out here. It doesn't matter what you do or say or how you say it, you don't get a second chance."

What's most frustrating is his refusal to act in the manner she's accustomed to. It's then that she can fight him, deal and win. His calm and remorseful manner tonight is akin to throwing oil against a Teflon wall, he just won't let her comment stick.

Next to Andrea he takes off his jacket and moments later lays it carefully around her shoulders, Andrea's too cold and now grateful to protest.

"I am sorry about the way in which I treated you in the interview room," Out of the corner of her eye she watches him shiver and cross his arms in front of him.

"Why because it made you uncomfortable having to see me everyday at work and to be reminded," They'd never once acknowledged one another when they'd passed in the corridors alone at work. Andrea hangs onto her hostility, determined not to let him have anything but the knowledge of how much he hurt her.

There's a long silence and she holds her stare out into the darkness.

"No," He says slowly. "It's because I hurt you... and it turns out I made the wrong decision."

Instantly incensed Andrea pushes his jacket off her shoulders, letting it drop to the ground. "You've got a lot of nerve," She's part astounded and part angered as she storms past him and opens the French doors.

"I was wrong Andrea," He calls and she can't let the opportunity to scoff pass, something stops her though.

"You know what it took for me to say that, to admit it out loud," and that's exactly what stopped her. "There was no excuse for the way I treated you."

He's saying all the right things now but she's determined to make him suffer in it for a bit longer before she turns him down.

"I was scared, scared of everything coming crashing down around me because I wanted one thing more than I had ever wanted anything else before, you. But I gave you up for the sake of everything else even though together they weren't worth more than you are to me. I took the safe option...like I always have," Andrea wholeheartedly agrees but remains with her back to him.

"Cowardly and then I avoided you tonight because it's New Years Eve and I've been thinking and you're the mistake I realise I've made."

He has worn his way into her a little and she hurriedly brushes away her tears. Still determined not to show him any weakness she turns with her teeth gritted to prevent any new flood of emotion. "You don't get to do this Neil," She says forcefully.

To her frustration he says nothing as he picks up his crumpled jacket from the top of the steps and puts it back over her shoulders again. He makes sure it covers her, pulling it closed across her front.

"I was thinking about all this and I was going to tell you. I promised myself I'd turn up at your flat tomorrow night and I'd buzz your door, call your machine and sit out the front until you heard me out. Then you came through that crowd and I turned away from you, here I go again same old Neil. I came out here to talk some courage into myself before I went looking for you to apologise and here you were."

Andrea shakes her head at the story.

"I know I don't deserve it but I want a second chance," He affirms confidently.

Andrea's voice begins quietly but the frustration of having to say what she has already more than once puts an edge in her tone. "I was in love with you and you threw me away, nobody has ever treated me like I was so insignificant."

She steps through the door, the change in temperature a welcome relief.

"There's nothing insignificant about how much I love you and how much I want to be with you," Neil calls after her.

"Bastard," She curses in a hoarse whisper at the same time as tears roll down her cheeks.

He just won't let her get away.

"Bastard who loved you," Neil replies softly and under her breath Andrea tells him to leave her alone.

She says it again, just as unconvincingly as she steps back towards him, only this time it's loud enough for him to hear.

"I've had enough for one year," Andrea tells him in the same hoarse whisper.

"I know," He reaches through the doorway to her and Andrea first thinks he's finally given in and is just taking his jacket back, instead the soft back of his fingers and the pad of his thumb brush across her cheeks. "So there'll be no more."

It sounds like a promise but the message is confused, she lets him lean in and place a gentle kiss on her lips, reluctantly she moves her lips with his and eventually melts into him.

Hesitantly she steps back outside at his encouragement, coming to a jolting stop when the small of his back meets the railing. His arms hold her under his suit jacket and their bodies press together creating warmth better than any coat.

Andrea pulls away from the kiss suddenly and instinctively and Neil grabs her, expecting she's about to leave. She clings to the back of his shirt however and her tears soak into his collar as she pulls him closer, grabbing more of the light cotton shirt.

She can feel he's cold, not surprising through his thin clothing and rhythmic rise and fall of his chest with each breath he takes. His chin rests next to her temple, his arms never relinquishing their secure hold.

Andrea ignores the random voices from inside of the house and the loud tap of someones stilettos on the polished floorboards.

Her thoughts are lost somewhere when Neil's fingers dig brutally into her back and she is shoved with him backwards, thumping against the brick wall.

Andrea opens her mouth to protest his actions and force which seems totally unjustified, only to see a glass sailing in the direction she and Neil were just standing in. It smashes onto a lower step and in the dull light Andrea watches it shatter into tiny fragments, scatting in all directions. She can smell the dark brown liquid, a scotch.

Her ankle throbs, until now she hadn't realised it had twisted in the rush to get out of the way.

Still clinging to Neil, in part now to keep her weight off her right foot she turns to her left, the sight that greets her is like nails poking out of the wall she's pressed up against.

Philippa Manson is devastated, her expression as shattered as the glass she just threw out of sheer rage. Just like Andrea she can't stop her tears flowing.

When she storms off, the clicking of her heels are instantly recognisable to Andrea, they're the ones she ignored earlier.

The couple who were sitting around the fire glare at her before one of the calls out to Philippa and they both shake their heads. She and Neil have been exposed.

"God what have I done?" Andrea asks herself, dropping her arms from Neil as he does the same.

She's rattled, she'd almost never considered that Philippa would be upset by Neil's infidelity for some reason which makes no logical sense to her.

She steps away from Neil and goes back to her place of most comfort except now her fingernails dig into the palms of her hands as they grip the railing.

"Go after her Neil," Andrea instructs, it's just dawned on her what his likely reaction will be.

"I can't," He sounds as though his heart is only halfway in it and when Andrea turns around she sees why. He stares in through the French doors, clearly stunned by it all.

"You just told me about being cowardly, about the terrible way you treated me. If you don't go after her you will be that same coward still, you won't have changed or even tried to." As Andrea listens to herself it sounds like she's lecturing him but it's probably what he needs.

"You're right but what about..?"

"Me?" Andrea interrupts. "You don't have me Neil, maybe you never really did, the only person you have is Philippa and that's looking tenuous."

"You kissed me," He seems genuinely confused and she takes responsibility for that.

"I have before and I might again, nothing in life is guaranteed," His demeanor seems to drop. "I know where I stand on the subject of you and you know how I feel too but Neil your life is a mess, even more so right now and I've been hurt by you before. I'm wary, I'm overly cautious and it's going to take something almost extraordinary for me to take you back into my life."

"Will you be waiting when I'm done?" He gives no indication of 'when' or what 'done' is.

"I can't answer that Neil, you've already hurt me once," Andrea looks down for a minute as her thoughts flow. "Whatever you do once you go inside and go after Philippa has to be for you not me, I'm making no promises."

After a moment he says, "Yeah, OK." Making it clear he doesn't like the decision.

"It has to be this way Neil," She tells him softly.

He hovers for a minute, lost between thoughts, his eyes shifting between her and the darkness beyond. She wonders if he's waiting for her to change her mind.

"Yeah, well," He says hesitantly. In all the excitement both have forgotten the cold. "I guess all there is to say is Happy New Year then."

"At least we could start this year civilly," Andrea offers but it's of no comfort to Neil.

"Happy New Year Neil," For a second she debates adding something extra. "I hope everything works out alright at home."

The nod of his head is the only acknowledgement of her wish but the look on his face makes her want to take it all back. Just when she thinks she's going to give in and step over and kiss him again he says goodnight and steps through the French doors, only to be gone in mere seconds.

A gap opens up inside of her and subconsciously she pulls his jacket around her front in an attempt to cover it over. Only then does she realise she's still wearing his suit jacket. Upset by her reaction she assumes he hadn't even noticed she still had it on either.

Andrea puts her arms inside of the sleeves and find a neatly folded handkerchief in the right pocket.

For a second she entertains the idea that this is deliberate on his part, a ploy meaning he'll have to come back and find her, or come to her house.

She dismisses the idea but for a while can't shake the niggling that she's done the wrong thing once she stops it she never lets her self doubt creep back in.

"Here she is," A loud voice calls that Andrea instantly recognises and when she looks up she's right... it's Yvonne. "What are you doing out here, it's bloody freezing, we've been looking for you everywhere."

The comment has Andrea looking at her watch and trying to guess how long she's been, Neil had consumed her emotions and more of the night than she'd guessed. Her ankle throbs with her full weight on board but the pain is managable.

"Not everywhere because I'm here," A small joke that does nothing to lighten her mood.

"Hey, whose jacket is that?" Honey asks, her mind ticking over with possibilities as she too steps outside.

"I was talking to this guy..." Andrea stops, it's obvious that Neil isn't coming back for his jacket and maybe not in her life.

"Is he hot, nice, got all the necessities?" Yvonne rattles off.

"All that and more," Andrea sighs.

"So, where is he?" Honey looks back inside.

"I don't know, he had things to sort out," Andrea shrugs noncommitally.

"But he's coming back," Yvonne gives Andrea a knowing nudge.

"No, I don't think so," Andrea says trying not to sound as she's starting to feel.

"We were about to leave, the party's become dull, but if you want to stay..." Honey offers.

"Might as well share a cab," Andrea's hands are almost blue and the party's become a place she doesn't want to be anymore either. Within a few minutes of being inside her hands and toes start to itch from the dramatic change in temperature.

By now most of the guests have moved on and the only things to be dodged are party hats and streamers which litter the ground.

The same guy is still guarding the few coats left and Andrea waits as Honey and Yvonne exchange their tickets.

"Get us a cab, I'll meet you out there," Andrea encourages her friends as she shrugs off Neil's jacket.

When they're gone she collects her jacket and holds Neil's out making sure it's not crumpled. One thing she can erase is the scent of her perfume that probably lingers.

"This is Mr Manson's," She informs the guy who proceeds to check the rack.

"No, I have a Mrs P Manson," He tells Andrea, only trying to be helpful. The first and only assumption is that Neil has gone without his wife or her without her coat.

"Can you put a ticket on this please, Mr N Manson," She's as sweet as she can be at the moment and is so despite the coat clerks strange look. "I was cold, he lent it to me." Andrea answers his look.

She thanks him and once again steps out in to the cold, this time better armoured against it.

"So who is this guy?" Yvonne bails Andrea up almost as soon as she steps out the door.

"I don't know, we were just outside for some air and got talking," It's simplified but not completely untrue.

"So did you get his number?" Honey asks

"He's not available," Andrea shrugs.

"How depressing we all struck out," Yvonne groans as their cab pulls up.

"How about we go back to the pub and I buy us a beer and we toast to being single and fabulous young women who control their own life and destiny?" Andrea suggests as Honey opens the cab door for them.

Heading home would only make her feel depressed right now.

"Yeah I'll be in that, just the beer not the other stuff," Yvonne replies enthusiastically and Honey chimes in 'sure'.

As the cab pulls away from the curb Andrea wishes she could tell her friends it's not about the beer for her but the fact she stood her ground tonight and has chosen to taken Neil back into her life in her own time and on her own terms.

* * *

The End 


	5. Alternate ending 4

**Title**: New Years Eve...Ending Four

**Author**: Loz & Meegan Boulton

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Stand alone, not related to anything else I've done. See also 'How this works'

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated. I'd love to hear which of the endings was your favourite.

**Summary**: A NYE party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.

**How this works**: Ok so you used to be able to get those books where you could 'choose your own adventure' and this is kind like that. You read the first part and the rest are alternative endings to the first part with different sets of circumstances and outcomes for Neil and Andrea.

**Note**: This is actually a co-effort with Meegan Boulton so all compliments/criticisms etc should also be sent in her direction even though I'm the one posting this story.

**Future**: This story is not finished and I anticipate there will be as many as 9 or 10 alternative endings.

**Disclaimers**: It's a new year and I still can't claim ownership of The Bill.

* * *

He waits for a moment, his eyes seeking a non-verbal cue from her that it's OK to come closer. In her mind she gives no indication either way but from somewhere he procures a positive answer from her. There's confidence in his stride but it doesn't seep from every pore like it has done some days.

"You decided to come," He seems genuinely pleased as he leans in and kisses her cheek.

Though his hands come nowhere near her she flinches a little and pulls away. He doesn't seem to notice or doesn't comment, perhaps making the assumption she doesn't want to make the true nature of their relationship too obvious and neither does he.

"Well you know, I didn't have any better offers," It's a pointed comment because she's not with him.

Long before Adam Okaro had sent invitations out they'd discussed this and Christmas night and from the outset she knew he wouldn't be at her side. She knew why and accepted those conditions long ago although it never failed to make her angry. They'd discussed things again when the invitations had come out and again he was clear who he'd have to be with and now where appearances would dictate he'd have to be.

There was no way Andrea was going to miss tonight or try in some half-hearted way to change her friends mind once they'd formulated their escape plan.

Still she'd lied and told Neil she wasn't coming.

It all seemed petty now.

The space he'd given her between their first conversation and their last just before Christmas after the invites went out was because he rightfully assumed she was angry.

However she became grateful for the space from him and needed it.

"I thought you might have avoided this because you were angry with me," He starts the conversation a lot more serious than she expected.

"I'm just here for the food, booze and to snoop through Okaro's house," Honestly Andrea had hoped not to see him tonight, she'd hoped for a night off from the situation she'd recently found herself in, one which has consumed her thoughts and needed to be dealt with soon.

"Yeah, me too," He jokes and gets a small smile from Andrea.

"I'm sorry I can't be with you tonight." Neil says softly and she believes the sincerity in every syllable.

So much so that she relents from holding onto the last of her anger. "It was unreasonable of me to expect...unfair," Her sentence fractured. "You never made a secret of the fact you had a wife and I never made a request of you to leave her."

"I think it's a quite understandable desire, we've been together a while, things are progressing and developing between us, it's natural to want to see more of each other, there are times when I feel exactly the same."

Andrea shakes her head, "Neil lets not get into this now, we've been drinking and now's not the time and here's not the place," She doesn't want to go down a deep and meaningful path, she knows if they discuss this now her other situation will come up and here's not the place.

She's not even sure if she's prepared to discuss it yet.

But Neil instantly notices the look on her face, "What is it Andrea?"

It is a comfort that he can read her so well but at other time that inability to appear strong and in control of things annoys her.

Instantaneously she denies it's anything, but it's more knee jerk reaction than anything convincing.

As she expected he see right through it and says, "I know it's something and it's something big."

He's absolutely right, just how big he doesn't realise yet, her situation will turn their lives upside down and her decision will dictate for just how long.

"Let's go somewhere and talk," He holds out an arm to encourage her, apparently not worrying to wait for a response from her. His hand rests on the small of her back, a risk but at the same time a measure of comfort and security, there's no backing out now.

He leads her into the same front room she was in earlier with Yvonne and Honey. Someone has rearranged the sofas and the fire is now just the occasional lick of a flame or two. Andrea hesitates before heading over to the window which looks out over the street.

She was hoping not to see him tonight, though it was inevitable because the Okaro house isn't that big. She doesn't want to have to tell him what she's found out just yet, they should enjoy themselves tonight and somehow she knows he'll get it out of her.

This is neither the time or place but with something like this such a utopia does not exist.

It's not even a situation they should be in, maybe if she were someone else and other legalities defined them it would be different.

She's made herself nauseous more than once over how he'll react.

"Come and sit down," He encourages Andrea and she turns away from watching the groups of people leaving the party and finds him comfortably on the sofa. She's spent the last few weeks carrying this secret, not even sharing it with her friends and garnering their support.

There'd be too many questions, too difficult to answer.

Though he may not be supportive it will be a relief for her of sorts that he will know.

At the same time a whole new level of anxiety will hit if he doesn't react favourably.

"Where's Philippa?" Andrea asks lightly, as though she's actually curious.

She knows it's a strange start to a conversation for them.

"That's what's bothering you, where my wife is?" He finds it strange as she does and half laughs his way through the reply.

There's a pause and then it's as if he realises there might be a serious reason behind the question, that Andrea has something in mind she doesn't want Philippa to see or hear.

"She's..." He begins. "I can lock the door."

Andrea immediately shakes her head, that would only raise more questions from outsiders.

"You're going to ask me to leave her aren't you?" Neil says seriously, in his mind this is what's drawn the look on her face.

"No, I'm not," Andrea immediately denies. "It's the last thing I would do, that is your decision and a decision you have to make without me being a factor."

She's always felt this way.

"I was thinking," He seems to instantly perk up. "I have some time owing, we should go away, a week in Paris would be good for us, we deserve it and when get back I'm going to tell Philippa that I'm in love with you and I want to be with you."

This isn't the first time he's had such flights of fancy. Each time she'd smiled and gone along with him, never questioning how he was going to explain the time absent from home. Each time his best laid plans had fallen through she'd acted disappointed although she knew it was coming all along.

This time her acting skills don't appear and she emits on 'Oh Neil' sigh.

He says nothing but looks at her, waiting for further elaboration.

"You can't be thinking about things like that right now," Andrea warns him.

"Why not, it's a New Year. I've been doing some considering about where I want my life to be," Andrea bites her lip because she knows whatever he has in mind, his life is not going to be where he's planning in the future.

"It's exactly the right time," He response to the hesitation he thinks he sees on her face.

Andrea's silence makes him uncomfortable and he watches, waiting for her expression to change.

"Are you ending us?" He asks point blank, she has to tell him now. Sitting where he is at the moment she'd be frantically searching for a reason for the silence and the fact she's not enthused by his future plans.

"I'm going to leave that up to you Neil when I tell you what I should have before now," She admonishes herself for sounding so ominous, then again he may feel it's justified.

"Go on," He says without hesitation, simply waiting for her to say what she has to.

"I'm pregnant Neil," Though she never takes her eyes off him, she can gauge nothing because he stands up immediately and heads for the door. It's not the reaction she expects from him and it almost pushes her into a panic because it appears at first he's walking out.

But he's not walking out, just shutting the rest of the party out.

"I don't know why but I knew that's what you were going to say," Neil says with his back still turned. Andrea looks his way but he doesn't yet have whatever it is that he needs to turn around and face her.

"You were drinking tonight?" In her confusion Andrea takes a moment to reply, she'd been expecting a question that was on topic.

"I'm sorry?" Though it's a simple answer she needs context.

"You said earlier let's not get into this, we've been drinking," Connections are made and his question makes sense. "You've just told me you're pregnant."

Neil turns around and is neither visibly angry or concerned.

"No I..." Andrea shakes her head. "I bought my own drinks at the pub, lemonade which I lied was gin and tonic and here I kept up appearances by taking glasses and killing pot plants with their contents."

Despite his concern for the her health and the baby's she desperately wants something she can work with, anger, delight, enthusiasm or for him to walk out because he has no idea how to handle the situation. "Oh I had a sip at midnight."

"I guess this was always going to be a possibility, no measure of prevention is guaranteed," Neil says as he walks slowly back to the sofa, watching each of his steps.

Andrea's eyes don't leave him as he sits and through the long silence that erodes her confidence.

"Neil?" She prompts and he immediately turns and looks at her.

"I'm trying to find the words to say that," He stops yet to have the words to explain the words. "...Won't upset you."

"I don't care what you say Neil, just say something," She explodes with frustration not anger. "The woman you've been having an adulterous affair with behind your wife's back has just told you she's pregnant with your child."

"How long have you known for?" He takes a discreet look at her stomach before meeting her eyes, there's nothing to see yet.

"We talked that night in November over dinner at the Indian restaurant, you told me what Philippa had planned for Christmas and New Year and I got angry and you went home afterwards. I found out a few days later," As she speaks Andrea can see his mind combing through the dates.

"That was the 28th, you would have been a month then so you're..." He fades.

"Just over 2 months pregnant now," She finishes for him.

"We've talked between then and now, especially a few days before Christmas, I thought you would have..."

"I didn't," Andrea stops to correct herself. "I haven't told anyone."

He doesn't seem to understand.

"I needed space to think Neil," Now he seems to realise that his backing off at the time was appreciated. "And Christmas, it wasn't the right time, it's not really now either."

"So," He clears his throat. "What have you decided?"

"Well," Andrea says reluctantly. "It's taken me this long to get used to it all."

"And to work up the courage to tell me," Neil adds and she thinks she sees the hint of a smile.

"I haven't decided anything, I don't know what I'm going to do. I didn't want to...you deserve to be involved," Immediately she realises the words 'deserve to' really need to be 'should' and corrects herself.

"Can I ask you if you could have an abortion?" Tables turned, Neil realises he should also have worded things better. "I mean if you object to abortion or not."

"I don't know Neil, I don't...I can't talk about this now, we can't talk about this now," She never expected him to be so quiet in response and that alone has steadily increased her stress levels.

"Well I'm not going to go back out there and dance with Philippa knowing what I know now," It's a point she can understand and accept.

Andrea clamps down on the side of her cheek with her teeth and smooths down the silk of her dress. Her hands rub subconsciously over her stomach.

"I don't think I can make a decision until I've heard yours and I know that's unfair and puts pressure on you. I think your decision is going to determine what mine will be," She says hesitantly.

"I need to know what your decision is because it will impact directly on mine," Neil mirrors her statement.

When Andrea says nothing he elaborates. "Your decision about whether or not you're going to have this baby will enormously determine my decision."

They're at an impasse, neither wanting to lay their cards down first.

"I don't know if at this point in my life I want a child. A baby was never in my plans for this place in my life, maybe I'll feel differently in a months time or so," Andrea admits, deciding there's no point in being diplomatic, it was getting them nowhere fast.

"We both have to deal with the shock," Neil tells her but his words are no comfort to Andrea.

"It's easy for you Neil, you don't have to carry the child and at any time you can walk out of our lives if it becomes too hard or complicated," She suspects he hasn't really thought about it in depth.

"I will never walk away from my responsibility Andrea, I will support you in whatever you choose to do," He affirms.

"What does that mean 'support'?" She doesn't adopt a tone but is simply cynical. "Money and a visit when you can sneak away from Philippa, a card and gift couriered over on the child's birthday? Because Neil I don't think I could go through this alone. I would need someone with me, someone who's invested, not splitting their time between a job, a wife and me and my child. Someone I can rely on, someone who I know will be there for me and the baby day or night."

"Then I guess you've made up your mind," Neil says simply.

"The scenario you have conjured up based on what I've just said is the last thing that's likely to happen," Andrea shakes her head, her tone belying the fact she has little faith in Neil's best laid 'happy families' plan.

"You don't think I'd drop everything to be with you and this baby?" He seems hurt by her lack of faith in him.

"No, I don't Neil," Her voice is raw and honest.

"I don't know why you feel that way, I..." There's still hurt in his voice and she doesn't let him finish.

"I have your promises that never came through, I have the weekends away that never got past the point of being an idea and I have the fact you've dumped me like a career ending hot potato when things have been too intense for you," She could go on.

Neil has no reply.

"The first thing I should have asked you Neil was if you even want another child. I can completely understand if you don't," His answer may be the thing that hurts most.

"Babies don't come pre-ordered, pre-packaged and they usually aren't delivered at a convenient time," Her first inclination is of his avoidance of an answer.

"That doesn't answer my question," She shoots straight back with. "I don't want my child to come into this world and have to tell it that their father isn't interested in them because he's already got one child and didn't want to have more."

"Philippa and I have always been career minded, we didn't think it fair to have anymore children. I don't know that she ever wanted any in the first place and maybe I was the same but I've watched Jake grow and now this...I think yes," His answer doesn't come with the sense of relief that she expected it to.

"I guess that's something," Andrea says quietly. There's a moment of silence before something occurs to her. "What about Jake, he's not going to react well to this."

"We worry about that later, much later," Neil says shaking his head. There's something on the tip of his tongue that he wants to say and Andrea reaches across and covers his hand with hers to encourage him to open up.

"I know I've promised things in the past and I've had wild ideas that have never come to fruition but things have happened between Philippa and I. If you decide to have this baby or not I want to be with you."

"Even if I aborted this pregnancy, you'd leave Philippa?" His pause that follows is telling for her and she gets in before he has a chance to reply. "I don't want this to tear us apart and for you to regret the decision you've made at some stage."

"I think what you and I have is stronger than that," It's more diplomatic than from the heart.

"Neil how much more determined to leave Philippa are you now?" The look on his face indicates his confusion over her question. "How much is this baby now driving your decision to be with me?" He waits as the question sinks in with him. Andrea knows his answer is a positive, the degree to which she's unsure. "It's honourable of you Neil but I'm not sure it's what I want."

"I think you'd resent me if I didn't allow myself to be swayed by this new information," She admits to herself that he's probably right but isn't prepared for his next statement. "You sound determined to push me away and to do this yourself, despite what you say about your decision hinging on mine."

"I guess I'm thinking I need to be prepared for a situation where I might have to do it myself," The bitter edge in Andrea's voice can't be held back.

"And there you go again," Frustrated Neil gets out of his chair and walks to the window.

Part of Andrea wants to apologise, biting on her lip to stop herself.

"If things didn't work out between us we can always adopt," He suggests, back still to her.

"Yeah and 18 years later there's a knock at the door out of the blue and it's the little time bomb we sent off long ago but there's nothing little about him or her anymore. It'd only ever be a matter of time before we were looked up and then what do we say, sorry you were a mistake that occurred in the middle of an affair and your father was reluctant to leave his wife, your mother didn't think she could do it one her own so we cast you away and by the way your parents have spoken to each other since you were six months old, can't stand to be in the same room in fact," Knowing she's gone too far Andrea stops abruptly.

When Neil turns around she expects to get the verbal lashing she so richly deserves. Instead "I love you Andrea" comes softly from his lips.

"This shouldn't be dividing us," He continues, further compounding on Andrea's guilt, he steps across the room to sit next to her.

"You have so much to sacrifice," Andrea whispers.

"Like a marriage that's fledgling and a career stuck in neutral, this is just the thing to force me to do something that's long overdue about our relationship, to get me out of the habit of never taking risks, going after the things I really want," He pauses and answers her question before she she's had a chance to ask it. "I won't lose Jake."

"We're nowhere on this Neil," She sighs, the conversation has worn her down, slowly she leans forward to rest against him, his arms around her.

"But our lives have come along in a leap, we have a baby," Neil presses his lips to the top of her head and sighs.

"You should go back out there, Philippa will be looking for you," Her words muffled by the material of his shirt.

"Yeah, I know," Neil says but makes no attempt to move. "We have to make a decision soon Andrea or a doctor is going to tell you that the decision you've made is not available to you anymore."

"Yeah, I know that," Andrea says with a sigh in her voice, she lifts her head from him and her eyes meet his. Her look is soft and he reaches gently over to stroke her cheek.

"What if I call you tomorrow and then I come over and we talk some more," Andrea's fingers rest on Neil's wrist, pulling it away from her cheek. She nods that it's alright with her.

"Are you right to get home?" Neil asks shifting his way half out of the sofa.

"Yeah, I'll get a cab," Andrea replies offhandedly.

"Here let me pay..." Neil reaches for his wallet in his jacket pocket.

"Neil I can pay for a cab home," She reminds him, his chivalrous act not going over well with her. She's pregnant and could probably cope on her own, not destitute and hopeless.

Neil doesn't back away.

"I don't need it or want it Neil, if this is out of guilt or something," She focuses on the notes he holds out for her, the fact he won't listen to what she wants irritates her.

"Well I know when I'm not wanted," Neil says dismissively, in their conversation that has swung from affectionate to irritated he's back to irritated.

Andrea watches his purposeful strides carry him around the sofa and to the door.

"Why are you so hesitant to ask me for what you want, to ask for what you need and deserve," He doesn't yell but his point comes across bluntly.

"I'm not in a position to do any asking of you," Andrea says equally as bluntly, her eyes not leaving his.

"Given what you've just told me I think you are. Someone in your position should be screaming for me to leave my wife to be with you and the baby. Yet you're waiting, seeing and making diplomatic niceties. I think you're just as reluctant to be with me as you think I am to leave Philippa."

Neil stares at her for a monment but as he turns to open the door the sound that escapes his lips is one of undeniable frustration.

"Neil!" She calls out the second he has disappeared through the door but knows it's in vein, her voice is too quiet and her head drops again.

"Yes," A voice answers and she jumps before looking back at the doorway, his shoulder and temple rest against the door frame, he looks melancholy.

"I do want..." Andrea mumbles and then makes a conscious effort to look up and tell him exactly what she should. "I do want to have this baby with you and I want a life with you."

A smile slowly spreads across Neil's face, "I thought so."

"I'm scared Neil," She adds hoarsly and Neil crosses the room quickly and pulls her into his arms.

"Yeah but I'm here now," Finally Andrea relaxes, moudling herself into his hold.

At first she doesn't notice his hand which slides across her stomach, it brings a smile to her face and she places hers over his.

"Will you let me get you a cab and see you home safely?" Neil asks again, now she's mellowed.

"No but you can come over tomorrow so we can talk some more," Andrea negotiates with a smile on her face.

"Okay but you've got to let me start to look after you," Neil relents starting to shift. "Come on I'll walk you out."

"I came with Yvonne and Honey, I should say goodbye to them first," Andrea replaces the depth of Neil's chest with the back of the sofa.

He shakes his head and smiles, "You're frustratingly independent."

In response Andrea brings his hand to her stomach again, "See you tomorrow?"

In response Neil leans in an kisses her sweetly.

He leaves Andrea on the sofa, smiling.

"Hey what are you doing in here?" An inebriated voice calls out a few minutes later.

"Just escaping for a moment," Andrea replies, she hasn't turned around yet but knows who it is.

"We've had enough, want to share a cab with us?" A second voice asks.

"Sure," Andrea's been long ready to go home.

"Hey you're smiling, really smiling," Honey notices as Andrea joins them.

"Was there someone else in here?" Yvonne ask conspiratorily.

"You could say that," In her elevated mood she's going to enjoy being cryptic.

"Well details," Honey presses as she walks backward in front of Andrea. She doesn't answer until they're outside and alone.

"How drunk are you?" Andrea asks as they walk through the night cold towards the main road to get a cab.

"You're not on duty now Andrea," Honey laughs.

"I'm walking in a straight line," Yvonne quips.

Andrea stops and it takes a moment for her friends to realise she's not keeping up. They turn and state at her before prompting, "Andrea."

"I had a great night tonight," Yvonne and Honey immediately assume information is forthcoming. For a moment Andrea considers telling them everything, then teasing them by saying she has something important to tell them soon.

"And?" Honey prompts.

"Nothing, I had a good night and this is going to be a good ear," With a wide smile on her face, Andrea continues down the street leaving her friends behind.

For the first time in many weeeks she's feeling good about the future.

* * *

The End 


	6. Alternate ending 5

**Title**: New Years Eve...Ending Five

**Author**: Loz & Meegan Boulton

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Stand alone, not related to anything else I've done. See also 'How this works'

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** **(if applicable)**: www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated. I'd love to hear which of the endings was your favourite.

**Summary**: A NYE party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.

**How this works**: Ok so you used to be able to get those books where you could 'choose your own adventure' and this is kind like that. You read the first part and the rest are alternative endings to the first part with different sets of circumstances and outcomes for Neil and Andrea.

**Note**: This is actually a co-effort with Meegan Boulton so all compliments/criticisms etc should also be sent in her direction even though I'm the one posting this story.

**Future**: This story is not finished and I anticipate there will be as many as 9 or 10 alternative endings.

**Disclaimers**: It's a new year and I still can't claim ownership of The Bill.

* * *

Her body reacts as it always does when he comes anywhere near her. He's either being polite or is completely oblivious to the girlish smile she gives him and the manner in which her heart beats like a thundering heard.

If it was anywhere near midnight she'd have kissed him, what with the atmosphere and the Dutch courage from the alcohol she's been drinking.

She's hoped she wouldn't run into him tonight for fear of her reaction, there was no way she could avoid him now and a nervous response from her is guaranteed, given the brilliant smile on his face.

For the year since she'd arrived, Neil Manson consumed her thoughts, desires and fantasies more than she'd care to admit to herself.

She'd never acted on anything she felt.

Admiring him from afar.

She's usually not so shy and retiring with men and probably would have boldly asked him out if their work situations were different.

So she'd watched the changes in his life from the side lines for a year in her own version of unrequited lust.

There'd been times they'd talked in passing and in his office.

And her feelings had never changed.

"Happy New Year," She yells over the music at the exact same time that he does. She laughs at their jinx which doesn't fail to bring a wider smile to his face.

"You can't talk now until I say you can," He yells and Andrea plays along. She cups her hand behind her ear indicating she can't hear him which is not much of a stretch.

"I know, you can't hear me over this racket," Neil yells. "So you might as well be talking too."

"I was looking for a drink when we bumped into one another. I'd get us one but," He looks around him, turning when Andrea points to the penguin suited waiter carrying drinks behind Neil.

He takes two glasses from the silver tray and passes her one, their fingers touch accidentally as she thanks him for the drink.

"Happy New Year," He raises his glass and tips it towards her. When Andrea touches hers to his she imagines it makes a pleasant chink but can't hear anything above the music.

"Happy New Year," Andrea wishes, her head tips to the side and she gives him another smile. She can't seem to help the mild flirtatious manner that appears when he's around.

"Who are you here with?" He leans in, centimetres from her ear, instinctively she turns silently in his direction, casting her eyes over the short hair on the side of his head.

A new song starts and she tells him about the plan she and her uniformed friends had come up with. When he pulls back from her he's laughing and shaking his head.

"So who are you here with?" It's her turn to lean in, she gets a little closer than he.

"Stafford Row," He replies and takes a sip of champagne. "It's been nice."

The lyrics cuts out and Andrea knows instantly what's coming, when Gary begins butchering notes again she outwardly flinches.

"What is that?" Neil's face grimaces as he turns towards the source of the horrific noise. "I guess someone decided I hadn't had enough yet."

"He's been up there 'singing' already tonight," Andrea informs him. "And I use the term singing loosely."

"I've discovered his regular voice is not that different from his so-called singing voice and I hear it day in day out," They both break into a smile.

"We in uniform apologise sincerely," Andrea laughs, in the last few minutes she's relaxed a little more. "But some of us probably weren't so unhappy to see him promoted."

"Yes, thank you, I've been waiting for that," Neil laughs, taking another mouthful of champagne. "I can't stand this, please tell me you want to get out of here."

"You took this long to ask," Andrea teases.

He holds out his arm for Andrea and she willingly slides hers until they interlock. She looks down with a shy smile when his other hand comes to rest on the one interlocked with his.

"There's this spot I've been sneaking away to at various times tonight, it's quiet and we'll have it all to ourselves," Andrea nods and smiles her approval, on the inside she skips a little at the prospect of being alone with him.

He's an almost completely different person tonight, upbeat and cheery, laughing and joking about things, a side of him she just hasn't seen at Sun Hill. As they make their way through the human obstacles he looks back over his shoulder at her and smiles, still leading her with a gentlemanly arm.

It's an open and gregarious side to him that she hadn't expected.

It's a side she likes.

"Oh wait," Andrea stops, Neil slipping from her grasp. She talks the waiter into letting her take the silver plate of hors d'oeuvres now only half full.

"Supplies, good idea," Neil compliments as he takes her empty champagne glass from her hand and exchanges it for a full one.

"You right with that?" He checks as they continue through the crowd that opens up to the hallway. Neil juggles the two glasses to open the end door, holding it open for Andrea to enter first.

Neil Manson's quiet place is a masculinely decorated private study.

Andrea puts the silver tray down on the solid timber desk, stained and sealed in a deep red. A desk map in old and stained browns recalls a time when the world was thought to be very different. Personal papers sit in piles and a gold chain hangs, waiting to switch on a lamp which would illuminate them.

"Here you go?" Andrea turns and takes her drink from Neil, her eyes casting past him to the side wall.

"Wow," Andrea says simply at the bookcase that covers the entire wall from floor to ceiling, her mouth hangs open in the most ladylike manner she can manage. There are books of all shapes and thicknesses, folders and photo albums, small trinkets and CD's and DVD's.

"I bet he hasn't read them all," Neil says jokingly in the manner of a jealous associate. Andrea stifles a giggle not able to resist the temptation to turn and give him a wide smile.

She lets her fingers dance over the spines of the books, apparently all grouped according to category.

"I remember them from university," Neil comments as Andrea skims over the psychology and criminology titles.

Neil's left arm reaches around her to point out the red leather bound book and Andrea can't help but notice his proximity. His cologne glides its subtle yet intoxicating way around her as his upper arm rests on her shoulder.

"Read it cover to cover in one night did you?" Andrea teases, turning her head for his reaction, his smile at her cheek is as wide as hers and his face is close enough that her minds eye imagines turning, wrapping her arms around him and kissing.

"Hardly," He brushes off the 'nerd' image she's tagged him with, for moments more than a few their eyes remain locked on one another.

It's he who steps away and turns his focus back on the books.

There's historical's and biographies, golfing how-to's and the full complement of James Bond DVD's.

Andrea picks up the framed photo of the Okaro family and stares at the happy group until in a flash she snaps back and hastily puts the photo back in its place. "I'm snooping, must get out of the habit."

"Inherent curiosity about your senior officer," Neil begins when she turns around. "Anyone can understand that, besides he would have put all the very personal and sensitive stuff away."

"No criminal's biographies or Agatha Christie novels," Andrea says lightly, it's the last thing she expects on any coppers shelf.

"Get too much of that every other day," Neil correctly identifies and makes himself comfortable in one of the two arm chairs.

Andrea takes up position in the second chair after taking a hors d'oeuvre from the tray. She sits her champagne on the carpet next to her chair.

"That one's not good," Only when the strong fish taste hits her taste buds does Andrea realise what Neil's referring to.

"Eughh, bin, bin, bin," Andrea repeats, her mouth still full as she searches the room.

"Oh come on, the man never made a mistake on his paperwork," Andrea says in disbelief that's there's no wastebasket.

"Out the window then," Neil says like it's the only other logical thing to do.

"I can't do that," Andrea continues to mumble with her mouth partly full.

"Why not?" Neil asks, letting an icy blast in as he opens the window.

"I'm a lady," Andrea protests.

"It'll be our secret," Neil promises. "Come on, swallow or spit it out."

It's not yet quite enough encouragement for Andrea who at least has her head part of the way out the window.

"Hit that ugly garden ornament and I'll promote you tomorrow to CID," In a fit of laughter the delicate pastry dribbles out of Andrea's mouth and slowly down the outside of the window, leaving a trail behind in the manner that a snail would.

The sight of which only encourages her laughter.

"Quick get another and we'll race them," Neil says with a joking urgency and Andrea's laughter renders her almost incapacitated.

Tears roll out of her eyes, for a few moments she stops breathing her chest hiccuping with laughter. She falls against him for support as she calms down.

"Well you give new meaning to dying happy," Neil says, lifting her from him by her shoulders.

When Andrea turn to check the window again, she dissolves into laughter again, "I can't look."

She puts her hands up like a visor and slips back into a chair, Neil's this time so her back faces the window.

"Good thing you missed the target or I'd find you in my chair tomorrow," He jokes, passing Andrea her glass of champagne once he's settled into her seat.

"No I can't, I'm drunk," Andrea refuses, waving it away.

"So, I am as well," Neil admits and it's just the push Andrea needs to empty the glass. She can't help but laugh when she look over at him and Neil rightfully asks, "What?" Because there's no telling look on his face.

Any air of superior and subordinate is completely gone and they sit in a comfortable silence as Andrea tries to calm her stronger than usual attraction to him.

And her propensity to laugh when she's had too much to drink.

She loves how he conducts himself at work, he's nobody's best friend and everybody's boss, demanding of effort and results from everyone below him and mostly well respected. He's dedicated and works hard with a fondness for numbers and statistics. He's not interested in gossip and is very territorial.

More times than not she agrees with him.

There'd been occasions where they'd sat and talked in his office with the door open, when she'd wanted to investigate a case or when he'd wanted to discuss another. There was always something she had to get back to but the time she cherished.

There were times when he'd complained about subordinates or disagreed with higher management decisions. In the back of her mind she could hear those who would scream unprofessional but they never considered the fact that everyone needs an outlet.

By that time they'd reached a strange form of friendship that had developed as they'd talked and on the rare occasion disagreed, more and more. They were no longer divided by job titles, not acquaintances but not friends who socialised outside of work hours either.

Neither of them had ever uttered the words 'confidential' or 'don't tell anyone I'm telling you this', there was an unspoken knowledge that both would never disclose what was said.

Andrea couldn't see her friends understanding that she could sit across the desk from Neil Manson and have any type of pleasant conversation.

She relished the little bits of personal information he'd let slip over the past 12 months.

"You here alone?" Neil asks and Andrea chuckles.

"I must have that vibe about me, drunk girl looking to hook up," The minute she's said it Neil bows his head with an embarrassing blush of his cheeks. "Sorry, no I'm not alone, Yvonne, Honey and most of the rest of the relief were here somewhere."

There's a pause and Andrea recalls, "I think I've already answered that question."

"Probably but I couldn't hear anything out there, I was just nodding and smiling politely, hoping like hell I was saying things that made sense," Andrea smiles and nods, it was much the same way for her.

"How about you?" Andrea wades into territory that may be uncomfortable for Neil but then she thinks they've already spoken about this as well.

"Well I walked in behind a group of well dressed people so it didn't look like I came stag and I've been catching up with people I know from Stafford Row for most of the night," It seems to suit him perfectly fine.

"These sorts of things don't usually appeal to you," Andrea observes, her voice soft and non-threatening.

"Very much so," Neil laughs at himself. "But my life has changed in the past 12 months and I find myself doing things that I wouldn't have not so long ago," There's a shrug in his voice, as if he's saying 'well that's life'.

"You've had enough for two years this year," Andrea's smile is twinged with sadness for him.

"Actually ten, that's what I've been telling people anyway," He makes light of the situation with a small laugh.

"I'm sorry you had to watch someone get promoted to a ranking you want so badly yourself," Though Andrea had heard all about it, she'd never offered her condolences.

"It's alright really, she deserves it and I wouldn't promote me during the year I've had, as hard as this is to admit there are shortcomings in my management style, things I need to work on."

"She just didn't have to rub it in and offer such condescending advice," Andrea says referring to the now DCI Morrell.

"Exactly!" Neil nods towards Andrea and smiles, she's got it exactly right and his jovial mood is back.

"So you had a good year," Neil switches the conversation away from himself, "Probation's over, now's the time to start thinking career, career, career."

"Well I picture myself being DI by this time next year," Andrea jokes and laughter rings out from both.

"I knew another DI who was on a meteoric rise up the MET ladder like that, can't remember his name though," Neil pretends.

"Oh yeah, I remember him, what ever happened to him?" Andrea plays along.

"He's Humpty Dumpty, picking up all the shattered pieces," Neil drops back to being serious.

"Oh come on, that's a bit dramatic, you're not slummin' it back in uniform or anything," Andrea points out things could be worse.

"Yeah you're right," Neil says and a moment later he snaps his fingers. "Maybe you could convince Gary to change places with you."

"Not even the remotest outside change of him going for that," Andrea laughs.

"So how come we're talking about me again. In all the time you and I have talked I've heard almost nothing about you, I had this conversation on you a minute ago and now we're back on me."

"I'm an expert at subtle topic changes," Andrea says in a 'you should know that' manner.

"Well, I'll just have to get you drunker, another?" Neil tips his glass towards her.

"Seeing as you're offering," Andrea holds her glass out for Neil to take.

"Keep it, I'm bringing back a bottle," Andrea bows her head and laughs, once he's gone the energy that was just in the room seems to go with him.

Slowly and absently she wanders the room, spinning the globe that sits in one corner, each country fashioned from a gem or stone. She browses the book titles again, pulling the ones that interest her out.

"Just what do you think you're doing PC Dunbar?" The booming voice tries to be male and authoritative and would succeed if it weren't for the fact it's female.

Andrea's first thought when she turns to see Honey and Yvonne is Neil and how she will explain things if he comes back while they're still here.

"So what are you doing?" Yvonne asks casually.

"Snooping like we agreed," Andrea answers in the same tone.

"So is it all crazy sci-fi books and Princess Diana conspiracy theories?" Honey asks inspecting the shelves herself.

"Mostly psychology and golf," Andrea sighs, trying to sound bored.

"Well we're going to call it a night, it's 3am, do you want to share a cab with us?" Yvonne puts Andrea on the spot.

"Thanks but I'm going to..." It's as far as Andrea gets before she's interrupted.

"I had to fight the head caterer for it because it's the last one and he wanted it for his staff but," Neil stops when he sees they have company.

"Sir," Honey says brightly but next to her Yvonne's face reads 'so what's going on here eh?'

"They were just," Andrea begins.

"Going, we were just going, saying goodbye and seeing if Andrea was alright to get home on her own," Yvonne says hurriedly, Neil doesn't see her grab Honey's arm and pull her along as they head for the door.

"Nice to see you sir, enjoy the champagne, goodnight," Honey wishes hurriedly. When they're out of Neil's eye line Yvonne turns around and mouths to Andrea 'details later'.

"Are we going to be gossip tomorrow?" Neil asks seriously, bottle of champagne still in his hand.

"What's to gossip," Andrea tries to brush the suggestion off as ridiculous. "We're not doing anything but being adults and talking and legally drinking."

"In my experience that counts for nothing," Neil's experience is sobering and quietens both of them for a while.

"They left awfully fast," He observes.

"Don't think they're the kiss ass type to drink with superiors," Andrea says light-heatedly. "Only to get that CID promotion in my case," She jokes but elicits nothing from Neil.

"There's nothing going on here," Andrea assures him, trying to sound calm and controlled. It strikes her suddenly that this may be the catalyst for ending their thus so far undefined friendship and any further private conversations.

"I don't know is there?" He says slowly and seriously and after an excruciatingly long pause for Andrea, but none of that matters as the words sink in and translate into a rapidly beating heart.

Has he sensed the change in them tonight as well?

In her bravest move yet she lays her cards on the table and asks him directly, "Would you like there to be?"

To her bitter disappointment he begins to chuckle, "That's not even possible, you're a PC and I'm a DI, I can just imagine the scandal," Andrea takes a small amount of hope from the fact he doesn't discount her suggestion on the basis of a lack of feelings on his part.

"They'll believe me if I say it's nothing and that'll be the end of it," Andrea closes off the conversation and takes the bottle of bubbly from his hand, tearing away the foil cover, then the cork.

Now she really needs a drink.

When she's downed a mouthful straight from the bottle herself, she snatches Neil's glass from the carpet next to his chair and fills it to the brim.

"Here, drink it, you turned into pissy Neil again," Andrea is almost aggressive in her tone and the sharp way in which she holds him out the drink.

"Sorry," I guess I sobered up there for a moment." Even his own voice has no confidence in his apology. The test of where his mood is, is in the face he didn't react badly to her character assessment.

Andrea kicks off her heels and sits back down again, she starts thinking about heading home soon.

"Do you miss home?" Neil asks softly, an olive branch, a way to get them back into conversation.

"Sometimes, the accents mostly and the environment, friendly people. I've been gone a while so I don't miss it as much and it's never far if I want to go back."

"You don't get lonely living alone?" For a moment Andrea wonders where this is heading.

"If I say no you'll picture me as an old cat lady," Andrea smiles and gets Neil to as well. "I've always been comfortable with my own company, I don't go on a mad search for my next boyfriend because I can't cope being alone, that's not who I am."

Andrea takes the opportunity to move to a related topic and a sensitive one at least.

"I'm sorry about your divorce," She says softly and almost hesitantly.

"There you go again," Neil says with a smile at her topic shift. He takes a moment, no doubt deciding what to say. "Thank you but I'm not, I'm surprised it survived this long, it was over a long time ago and it's for the best for everyone involved. No point being married and unhappy that's not healthy or the impression you want your son to have about marriage."

"But it's never nice," Andrea observes.

"Are your parents divorced?" Neil successfully changes the topic.

"No, still together," And there's silence between them until Neil picks up the thread.

"We're trying for Jake's sake," But his tone seems to indicate it's not easy.

"I feel like before I had a road map for my life and now I'm just in the middle of nowhere and it's not even like I have these options that newly divorced men do because I still have a job to do and a son to look after, so I can't be out 'going wild' or whatever I'm supposed to be doing according to all the books. I just used to know what was coming in the future, it was Philippa, Jake and I, one house, one bank account, day-to-day, school and homework, sport, work, holidays, family, one future together...now it's just blank."

Andrea stays quiet.

"It's so strange to be alone after so many years married, I feel like someone who's just gotten legs to walk with after years without them but I've forgotten how to use them or what to do with them."

"I think you're supposed to be like babies when they first walk, wobbly at first, using others to steady yourself with, falling down sometimes but eventually you get it."

"I understand that, I mean this situation has forced me to put more time into Jake and I'm here tonight. I find myself going to these things when I never would have before. I'm doing things for Jake that was always Philippa's role and I'm relying on others to help me juggle work and Jake."

"So have you gotten better at it in the last six months?" Andrea asks.

"I guess."

"So you're learning to walk again. It's still your life, you've just had to have some adjustments and you're successfully coping with them," Andrea assures him.

"Am I supposed to be dating, I mean is there a waiting period? Do men my age date?" Neil sighs.

Andrea can't help but laugh.

"Good for my ego thanks."

"I'm sorry, for a moment you sounded like you were new to this planet or buying health insurance. Yes men your age date."

"And survive, Neil jokes, the first positive sign in a long while.

Andrea takes a moment to reflect, since his not so outright denial of her question about there wanting to be more between them, Andrea had forgotten the complication of the fact she liked this man and was enjoying the no-strings attached conversation and advice between friends. His wave of honesty is refreshing in a job full of lying criminals.

"Flourish even, in the wonderful world of second marriages and half and step children," Andrea assures him.

"How do I date and have Jake, how do I introduce him to someone I bring home, someone to replace his mother," The questions are asked quickly and seem rhetorical. "Who am I kidding, I haven't dated since the last ice age. I have no idea how to go on a date."

"You just be yourself," Andrea informs him.

"Well that's a great big flashing stay away sign," Neil says almost dejectedly.

"You sell yourself short," Andrea tries to boost him up again.

It's a long time before Neil says anything and when he does he's quiet and reserved.

"My marriage to Philippa was cold, she said it was what we were good at, I thought it was what we settled for," He pauses and Andrea doesn't interrupt. "I've laid awake in bed the past couple of months and it's so lonely she might as well still be there. I was thinking there's got to be something better than that."

"There is," Andrea nods. She waits a while, letting things sink in. "You were in good spirits at the beginning of the night."

"Still am, New Year's resolution," As if to prove it he perks up. "No one wants to date sad Neil Manson."

"Oh so you are dating, all that was just a sympathy play then," Andrea teases but doesn't get a light-hearted response back.

"Seriously Andrea, I've really enjoyed talking with you over the past year, in more than a small way it's helped," It's one of the highest compliments she's ever received.

"Me too," Her smile is wide and genuinely affectionate but can't mask the yawn that forces itself upon her.

"Oh so you were lying about talking to me, really I've just been putting you to sleep this whole time and you're too polite to walk out," Neil jokes.

"Oh come on it's what?" Andrea asks the time through laughter.

"Three thirty," Neil answers and Andrea looks slightly shocked. "Is there anyone else still here?"

Neil pauses to to listen for music, when all they can hear is silence Andrea laughs. "Oh God everyone else has gone home."

"I don't know but I guess we should call it a night," Neil yawns himself and Andrea shoots him a look.

"I definitely should, I'm working tomorrow," Andrea reminds herself.

"What if the Okaro's are all asleep, they're going to think we're prowlers," Neil mocks and Andrea's lost count of the number of times tonight he's had her laughing.

When she gets out of her chair, Andrea's legs tangle and she stumbles, grabbing the arm of the chair to stop herself from falling. The champagne bottle makes a quiet thump when it hits the carpet and glugging sound as its contents empty onto the carpet.

"Shit," Andrea curses, picking up the bottle to prevent the rest of the bubble from escaping.

"Can't take you anywhere," Neil mock sighs and whistles to cover the sound of the chair that he moves over the stain.

"Just like it never happened," Andrea laughs. "Take it or I'll drink it."

Neil opens the window of her previous 'incident' and pours the last of the champagne over the hors d'oeuvres, washing it away. The bottle drops unceremoniously into the plant below.

"We were never here," Neil says wiping his hands against each other.

"I bet CID will be here tomorrow for that stain, there'll be a full investigation," Andrea jokes, opening the door and is immediately hit with soft music and murmuring voices.

She's not sure if they're coming from guests or caterers packing up and Okaro's surveying the mess.

"Neil it's either good for us or we're going to have some explaining to do," Andrea says turning around but the look on his face stops and sobers her.

Head tilted to the side, he has the slightest brush of a smile on his face and he's watching her closely, her heart skips a beat because this is no ordinary look between friends. Under the intensity of his gaze Andrea becomes nervous.

She feels more so as the look holds and he approaches her.

"This has been the best New Years Eve ever," He stops inches from her.

"Yeah for me too," Nervous Andrea takes her eyes from his and looks down.

"In here with you was the best part of the best New Year's ever," Andrea looks back up at him. She doesn't want to be sure she knows what's coming but she's wished for a long time for this, including tonight.

So despite how soft and warm his lips are and how long they remain there, she's disappointed in the moment that they landed on her cheek.

But she draws her breath, sharper than if it was her last one when he doesn't entirely pull away, remaining hovering instead for a few seconds, centimetres from her, his breath warm on her face. She wants to be the instigator but can't, it's his life that's messy, it's his choice to step over the line.

It doesn't take him long to do so.

Andrea throws herself into the kiss, not that she'd ever imagined doing anything less, yet her arms that sweep around him, her lips, her mouth and her tongue, none of it feels preplanned.

When she goes to slide her arms from around his neck he stops her, a soft touch on her forearm stopping their abating slide.

"I think I lied earlier," Neil begins and though she expects nerves or worse rejection of what just happened, a smile spreads across his face. "When I said I wouldn't like something to go on between us."

"I had an inkling," Andrea confesses with her own smile.

"Maybe you could stop by my office tomorrow because I want to ask you something about dinner, a movie, dropping you home and maybe another kiss like tonight's."

"I could probably do that," She teases as Neil slides her arms off him but takes a new hold on her hands.

"I'd like to say that," He says and leans in to kiss her cheek goodnight. "Happy New Year."

"Thanks Happy New Year to you too," They stare at each other for a minute before Neil makes a move to be first to leave.

Something about her feels like she's been cheated, like the whole night was a build up and now finally things have happened that she wanted to happen and it's been postponed until tomorrow.

"I'm sorry," He apologises coming back along the hall again, confused Andrea creases her brow. "I think I want to drop you home tonight."

"And my goodnight kiss," Andrea prompts shyly.

"Of course," Neil smiles. "I'll go first and let you know if the coast isn't clear," For the last time that night he makes her laugh.

But not for the last time ever.

* * *

The End 


	7. Alternate ending 6

**Title**: New Years Eve...Ending Six

**Author**: Loz & Meegan Boulton

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Stand alone, not related to anything else I've done. See also 'How this works'

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** **(if applicable)**: www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated. I'd love to hear which of the endings was your favourite.

**Summary**: A NYE party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.

**How this works**: Ok so you used to be able to get those books where you could 'choose your own adventure' and this is kind like that. You read the first part and the rest are alternative endings to the first part with different sets of circumstances and outcomes for Neil and Andrea.

**Note**: This is actually a co-effort with Meegan Boulton so all compliments/criticisms etc should also be sent in her direction even though I'm the one posting this story.

**Future**: This story is not finished and I anticipate there will be as many as 9 or 10 alternative endings.

**Disclaimers**: It's a new year and I still can't claim ownership of The Bill.

* * *

Before anything can pass between them, not even a look Andrea's attention is taken by the hand on her back.

"You have to come and see this," Honey barely gets out through her giggles.

"You scared me, where did you come from?" He heart racing Andrea's not sure if it's because of Honey or Neil who was approaching.

"This PC from somewhere is..." Honey gets no further before her laughter takes over again and Andrea frowns. "She's doing imitations."

"PC Dunbar," Neil says, his is the second hand on her shoulder in minutes. Once her attention was with Honey, Andrea had assumed Neil would keep a discreet distance. "Would you like to dance?"

Pulling a questioning look at him, Andrea turns back to her friend and simply says 'later'. She can already feel Neil's hand hovering on the small of her back.

"Excuse us, PC Harmon," Neil says in a gentlemanly manner and makes Andrea feel as though she's being whisked away with the speed in which he moves them to a spot on the dance floor.

"That was bold," Andrea comments, their stance gives away no clues, it's almost rigid and formal.

"So is this."

"You can tell nothing from this and you know as well as I do that she's not going to remember a thing in the morning," Andrea frowns at him, feeling there was some judgement in his words. She takes her eyes from his and stares into the crowd not focusing on anyone or anything.

"Where's Philippa while we're dancing?" Andrea has a little dig of her own.

"She's with Jake," He replies without a tone and Andrea immediately assumes Neil's alone.

"She's not here tonight?" Andrea confirms none the less and all is forgotten with a warm smile.

Though she has an incredible desire to do so herself, she warns Neil off with a look when he tries to bring them closer.

"Hang on, Philippa's at home with Jake?" Puzzle pieces have slotted together, Andrea stops dead and drops her arms from Neil.

"Actually it's further than that, she's with Jake visiting her parents in Spain for New Year," Andrea is stunned.

"How long have you known you'd be alone tonight for?"

"They left not long after Christmas Day," Neil says matter-of-factly.

Shaking her head Andrea looks away from him again.

"What?" His inability to see her point accelerates the irritation in her.

"Had I known, I'd have made alternative arrangements for tonight," Andrea replies pointedly.

"Why, I'm here now?" She doesn't for a moment believe he hasn't clued in yet.

Still irritated at a missed opportunity she slides her hand back into his and across his shoulder. As she leans in to whisper to him, her left foot slightly depresses onto his right. "I would have organised a private party for tow, I can't kiss you here."

"Says who?" Neil rebuts and successfully tightens his hold around her waist. Andrea studies him trying to work out what brought on the change in him.

"Another year," He doesn't bother to look around to check before brushing an imaginary piece of hair from her forehead.

"Yes, another year of sneaking around," Andrea provides the reality check.

"You love it," Neil teases.

"Yes, I love saying goodbye to you at midnight from the bed we've just shared," It silences him.

"So Philippa's in Spain with Jake," Neil picks up during the next song. He leans in, hovering around her left ear. "It's New Years let's go back to my place for that private party you would have planned."

"What and have a shag in your marital bed...no thank you," Andrea's feet stop but Neil doesn't react to her distaste for his suggestion.

"Actually I was thinking in front of the fire," Not even the sexy huskiness of his voice can't stop her wondering what's going on with him.

"Tempting but too uncomfortable," Andrea's feet shuffle again.

"What a crackling warm fire, red wine and a deep comfortable sofa," Neil creates an image in her mind.

"I wasn't referring to that," Andrea says with an edge and they both fall silent.

"I've missed you," Neil tells her, taking advantage when she surveys those around her. She slides deeper into his hold, in part for her own selfish desires and in part to test how far he's willing to go in public.

"You only saw me last night," Andrea laughs gently.

"I know," The brilliant smile is a dead giveaway to what he's remembering.

"You've been over six nights out of the last ten, I was hoping we wouldn't see each other tonight."

Neil pulls back from her, his face screwed up tightly in an are-you-crazy look.

"There's such thing as too much of a good thing," He doesn't need to be reminded.

"We should have gone back to that restaurant tonight, the meal was beautiful," Her round about way of thanking him for the meal that she knows was expensive.

"So are you," The blush spreads quickly across her face and she buries her head in the side of his neck to hide it. "Now it's a party."

"Where have you been all night, I've been looking for you since I got here?" Neil asks as the song dies, there's an unprofessional pause from the DJ and Andrea leaves him hanging until the orchestral strains of the next song begin.

"You told me you'd been looking for me your whole life," He'd said that to her only a few nights ago.

"I'm only sorry it took me this long to find you," His lips brush softly on her cheek as the words pass by them. The song is slow and emotional and without a care Andrea slips comfortably back into his arms.

"You left things in my bathroom," Andrea smiles picturing the razor and shaving cream.

"I know, I was in a rush, sorry," He apologises putting them face to face.

"No I love it."

"God, you smell good," Lips to her temple, Andrea sighs contentedly, the next songs slip by, caught in a memory that's a haze.

"Let's get out of here," Neil tries again, the fast dance song giving him an opportunity.

"Neil, I'm not sneaking out of this party with you," Andrea reaffirms, she listens in part to his reply about going into a private room and also wonders if he has a surprise or something in store for her, it's one explanation for his near insistence they leave.

"That's just as bad," Despite her new suspicions she knocks him back again. "If we did leave the only place we could go would be my place and I'm sick of changing the sheets on my bed."

"So we'll get a motel room," The reply comes quickly, further fueling her curiosity as to what has gotten into him tonight.

"Oh yeah, you're paying are you?" She laughs his enthusiasm off and bends her head back over his shoulder again.

What he says next stops her head.

"Marry me."

A million pennies drop and pieces of puzzles fit together, even if it's only in her mind.

Her feet have stopped moving but she can't look at him at least not until the adrenalin in her system stops pumping, her heart slows and she feels she can breathe properly again.

"Neil, you're drunk," Andrea says softly, only to have him gently coax her face to look at him.

"No, I'm completely sober," She's in no doubt about that.

"Neil tell me honestly, did you plan to ask me what you just have somewhere else tonight be because I refused to leave this became Plan B?"

"What would you say if I said yes?" He waits for a reply she doesn't have. "Just marry me for 5 minutes, right here right now. I Neil Manson take you Andrea Dunbar to be my unlawfully wedded wife for 5 minutes tonight, do you Andrea take me to be your husband?"

"I'd say yes to a lifetime if it were possible," Andrea interrupts, the loving gaze that passes between them makes the rest of the world irrelevant. "You said last night you loved me."

"And you didn't say anything, did you think I said it in the heat of the moment or it's what I thought you wanted to hear?"

"The thought did cross my mind," Andrea admits.

"I meant every word," Neil emphasises each with the briefest pause and it comes across in a manner which makes her melt.

"I'm ready to leave now," Andrea says softly and without a moments hesitation takes his hand and guides him like a carriage through the jungle of people.

Neil's hand drops like a hot potato back to his side and he has enough time to see Yvonne before she sees them and to hang back.

The sight of the stumbling Honey stops Andrea.

"Are you still dancing with him?" Yvonne cranes her neck to see Neil but the dancing couples have since closed in around him.

"Yeah, I was, his wife and son are away, I think he's lonely, I couldn't get away from him. One more song and I'd have been asking for a promotion. Finally told him I was going to the ladies."

"We're going," Yvonne looks over her shoulder to Honey. "Someones got to get her home safely.

"My turn next time," Andrea promises and immediately read her friends expression. "I owe a dance to a few other people."

"Ok, catch you tomorrow at work?"

"Is Honey?" Andrea begins to ask.

"Yep, she's on with use so one of us is going to have to call in sick for her, much more tonight and she'd be comatose."

"Sure Amber wouldn't mind a double shift," Andrea jokes. "I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, that's one less thing I have to take care of," Behind them Honey rocks on her heels.

"Is this about..?"

"Yeah it is and I don't know about you but I wished she'd sort it out because I'm sick of dealing with the fallout," It's the first sign of resentment in Yvonne.

"You're a good friend and she appreciates it," But it's no compensation for having to help a good friend home safely once again.

"I'll see you in the morning," Yvonne wishes, turns and half carries, half drags Honey towards the front door.

Andrea looks at her watch, it's well and truly morning.

"Ready to go?" Neil asks, a hand slipping around her waist.

"They'll be out the front for a while, waiting for a cab," Andrea turns, unfazed Neil leads them towards the front of the house but not the front door.

* * *

A sense of deja vu strikes Andrea as she enters the front room but she can't remember if she's been at the front window once already tonight.

Yvonne stands on the footpath shivering, holding Honey upright and Andrea has a pang of guilt, she should be out there helping.

"I was hoping to do this when we were outside so you wouldn't really have the opportunity to say no but..." He now has her undivided attention. This is what he wanted to drag her away for.

Neil pulls and envelope from the breast pocket of his jacket, she'd wondered earlier what it was when it crinkled against her.

He hands it over and before opening it Andrea looks to him for some sort of clue, she gets nothing.

The Air France logo is the first thing she sees and her hand pauses for a second before the rest of the details slide into view.

Paris.

A long weekend.

Accommodation and meals.

No activities, just time for them.

There's just one small thing in the enormity of it all.

"We have to be there in 3 hours, that's not enough time to go home and pack," It takes a moment for Neil to answer, perhaps expecting a flat out no.

"I know, I planned it that way...I want you to run away with me to the most romantic city in the world and we'll buy what we need there."

Feet cold Andrea turns away from him and searches for her friends out the window again, they're gone. The shiny paper of the ticket glides underneath her fingers.

"I'm supposed to start work at the time we'll be touching down in Paris and I'm supposed to call in sick for Honey." The part of Andrea that wants to pull desperately against that which is tied to her responsibilities.

"I'm supposed to start work around the same time, I have a report due and an illegal goods bust happening at midday," Clearly Neil's more at home with leaving his duties behind than she is.

"There's just one thing I need to know," Andrea says handing the tickets back to him. "You said run away to the most romantic city in the world, what are we running from?"

A small look of defeat shows on Neil's face as he tucks the tickets away. "I have my car here, I'll give you a lift home."

It's no answer to her question but Andrea's satisfied the journey home will have one.

They check their coats quickly and Andrea follows his lead wordlessly. She falls a step behind, trying to work out why he's organised time away. She's been with him long enough to know that one a whim is something he just doesn't do.

"Do you need a lift?" Neil asks and Andrea opens her mouth to ask why he's asked the question again when Yvonne replies, her relief obvious.

Andrea takes some of Honey's weight from her friends shoulder and together they awkwardly maneuver her into Neil's car.

* * *

"Where can I drop Honey?" Neil asks, in the darkened vehicle he doesn't see Andrea mouth thank you to his reaction in the rear view mirror, Honey slumped moaning over her lap.

"She'll have to stay on my sofa tonight," Yvonne tells Neil and gives him her address.

Only the sound of Honey's mumbling and moaning fills the rest of the journey.

There's a light on at Yvonne's and when the car has stopped Andrea leans into the front and says she'll help Yvonne get Honey upstairs.

"Thanks for the lift, I can get a cab from here," Andrea tells Neil, partly to give him and out and partly so that to Yvonne nothing appears untoward.

"I can wait, I don't have to be anywhere important for a few hours," To Andrea it's an obvious code, to Yvonne it must sound strange.

She doesn't seem to notice and Andrea makes sure Honey is settled on the sofa with a pillow and under a blanket and Yvonne has plans to go to bed herself before she leaves Yvonne's apartment.

Her friend is too tired to ask now, the questions about her night with Neil and the car ride home will come tomorrow. On her way downstairs Andrea uses her mobile to leave a message on Smithy's office machine, Honey won't be at work tomorrow.

* * *

Neil pulls away from the curb without a word and for the next few minutes Andrea says nothing as well.

A few streets from home she opens up, playing out the things that have been on her mind. "It's not about guilt for not spending time with me."

When Neil doesn't so much as look her way, Andrea goes on.

"The opposite is true, we've been spending more time together lately than we ever have."

This time Neil glances in her direction.

"If you thought we deserved it and needed it you'd have been more careful and subtle about it. I mean tonight we danced in the open and you've had the tickets in your pocket all night and its an expense likely to appear on your credit card statement."

Still nothing.

"So you've gone from being very careful about us to being overly casual," Andrea thinks she's figured it out but won't dare say anything while he's driving, if she's right her concentration will be shot as well.

When Neil pull his car up in front of her dark flat, Andrea makes not attempt to get out.

"Philippa's not coming back is she?" She's taken Jake and that's it. The next communication you'll

have with her will be through her divorce attorney," Andrea bores her eyes into the side of his head but she doesn't so much as flinch.

"She knows about us right?"

"Yes, she does, all of it," Neil answers, slowly turning to face Andrea.

"How?" She searches her memory for a time other than tonight when they took risks.

"She worked it out, suspicion, intuition, Philippa's a lot of thing but dumb isn't one of them."

All of her questions about where this urgency came from are answered. With one hand ready to open her door Andrea's thoughts track back to Yvonne who used the term fallout about Honey.

Tonight was just a small explosion compared to the catastrophic fallout Andrea is soon going to need help dealing with.

"If I'm not back in ten minutes go to Paris without me," Andrea tells Neil, the slam of his car door meeting his reply.

She runs to the building security door, her key already out and takes the stairs two at a time, catching her breath with her back against the inside of her locked front door.

Carefully guiding her was with her hands on the walls, Andrea goes to the window and looks down to the car that's still running. The exhaust is warm against the night air but that's the only sign of

life, inside the cabin is dark.

She's never thought of him as someone who's try and escape a looming unpleasantness but Andrea decides that's what she thinks he's doing.

* * *

Exactly eight minutes later Andrea turns off the last light in her flat and locks the door behind her, the small trolley suitcase thumps with each step it descends.

The dull interior light goes on as Andrea secures her things on the back seat, Neil watching her every move.

"Luggage, I thought you said..." Again she closes the door on his words.

"So this is our last pleasant time together before the unpleasantness begins," Andrea asks once in the front seat.

"I thought...yes, I don't know how amicable this will be and I might not ..."

"Be able to see much more of me if Sun Hill steps in and enforces 'the rules', if Philippa hands Jake back full time and if you have to spend most of your free time with a lawyer," Andrea finishes for him.

"Yes, so I thought we could have some time for ourselves."

For a few minutes Andrea is silent.

"I said I wouldn't have time to pack but there are some things that can't be bought, like me," She's blunt.

"I love you and you love me but we never had a conversation about commitment. That's not something you can buy with a weekend. I can't promise that if things get really hard at some point in the future that I won't want to take a break from you and I or that I won't ask you to affect your career in some way so you can be with me. So this is not about running away with you temporarily, from your or our soon to be problems. I want us to spend some time talking about what we want from each other and how we're going to deal with things when this all comes out and ultimately if we have a future."

Andrea expects him to pull the car away from the curb but something in her laying down the rules has set a twinkle in his eye. He leans towards her, elbow resting on the centre consul.

"I can promise you I love you, that the harder it gets the more I'll want you by my side and that I'd kill my career to be with you. If I have to spend these 3 days convincing you, I'll still enjoy this weekend." He kisses her sweetly and once he's done she pulls him back for more.

"Do you think you'd be able to convince me quickly, so there's enough time to climb the Eiffel Tower?" The promise of romance and carefree fun comes back to her and for the first time she feels like he has all night.

Now she knows why.

* * *

The End


	8. Alternate ending 7

**Where has the author been? **For almost eight years my job has dominated and not in a way I've been happy with, holidays, weekends the lot. My writing has always been close by and in the back of my mind however I've never had the inclination to pick it up and begin again...till the other day. Don't know what it was but I just started reading my old stuff and I got sucked back in again. I'm excited and unsure of how long this enthusiasm and drive will last and mostly I'm hesitant that this ending just won't be up to scratch and that it might not be in the same 'voice' as the others.

I have to admit that I stopped watching The Bill after Andrea left but I've recently come across the relationship between Neil and Grace, I love it! Bummed now I didn't keep up with the show because I'd love to write this pair, love it when Neil's happy!

On with the show... *bites fingernails*

* * *

**Title**: New Years Eve...Ending Seven

**Author**: Loz & Meegan Boulton

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: ...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Stand alone, not related to anything else I've done. See also 'How this works' below.

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** **(if applicable)**: www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: I'd just be happy to know someone is still out there and interested in reading my stuff still. Feedback would be the cream.

**Summary**: A NYE party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.

**How this works**: Ok so you used to be able to get those books where you could 'choose your own adventure' and this is kind like that. You read the first part and the rest are alternative endings to the first part with different sets of circumstances and outcomes for Neil and Andrea.

**Note**: This is actually a co-effort with Meegan Boulton so all compliments/criticisms etc should also be sent in her direction even though I'm the one posting this story.

**Disclaimers**: I'm back and I still can't claim ownership of The Bill.

* * *

Neil tips his head, indicating in the direction of the back of the room. Frowning Andrea shakes her head quickly. Neil mouths 'yes' and tips his head in the same direction again, 'come on' he mouths, his face offers the message that it's ok for her to meet his request. Unsure Andrea follows him, her top teeth pressing against her bottom lip.

"I'm under strict instructions to have no contact with you," there's the slightest hint of a scold in her voice; a smile creeps into one corner of his mouth.

"Your rules," Andrea reminds him. She speaks in as low a voice as possible against the blaring music. To the outsider there would appear to be nothing untoward about their coming together, Andrea's hands are joined in front of her, Neil's deep in his pockets.

"What are we even doing here?" Her tone is serious as she shakes her head slightly.

"You're not having fun? Neil asks, his head drops under the weight of her look. "We need to spend some time out, maybe even apart."

"You called me over," Andrea's face lights up as she makes her point. She says nothing else, they'd already hashed it out for hours and had come to a mutual agreement, reluctantly on her part.

"You and I spend every minute of our lives outside of work together," apparently he feels she needs reminding.

"You have a perfectly good flat you could go to, frankly some nights I could do without the snoring," Andrea counters cheekily, a wry grin from Neil is followed by the pressure of her foot on hers.

"Ow," She protests, unharmed and smiling.

"I guess I would actually get some time in the bathroom at my place," Neil is quick to come back.

"I wouldn't count on it," this time a wide smile lights up her face.

"I want us to get out into the world, things are passing us by," one cue, Andrea surveys the dance floor and sweeps her eyes across the room.

"I wouldn't mind if Gary's karaoke had passed me by," she quips. Neil shakes his head, she's amusing and correct.

"Do you want to get out of here?" He suggests. Not quite convinced she's won, Andrea agrees none the less. With anyone else this would be a sign she had won, not with Neil, he always has a point to make.

They get a formal and professional goodnight from the man who hands them their coats; he's the only one who notices their exit.

The street is empty and quieter than inside, everyone apparently at the Okaro party. Neil reaches for Andrea's hand as they negotiate the front steps.

"I'm not bloody holding your hand," Andrea laughs. "It's freezing out here." Before she can protest further, Neil links his hand with hers inside the generous pockets of her coat.

"Disagreeable tonight aren't we," Neil observes as he leads them away from the house to the right.

"Mmm, I wonder why," Andrea muses, they both know full well.

They walk on in silence and a more serious mood scrambles its way to the top in Andrea. She has no idea where they're going, doubts Neil does either but doesn't care.

"We're still in this habit of locking ourselves away and there' no reason to," Met with silence Neil takes the opportunity to continue. "Philippa is gone, she's been gone for..."

"12 months," Andrea finishes as Neil struggles with the time line.

"Who's keeping score then," He gently teases.

"We're not the only closeted heterosexual couple," Andrea announces and it's enough to stop Neil.

"What did... who did?" Neil finishes neither sentence, interrupted by the chuckle.

"I saw Sam and Phil taking small steps together, being cautious," Andrea offers.

"Where Phil Hunter is concerned I'd be cautious as well," Neil states.

"Terry and Ramani inching closer," Andrea adds.

"And they've made more progress than us in one night," Neil argues. Inside her pocket Andrea untangles her hand from Neil's. It's a shock when the cool night air hits it.

"It's not like it is easy having colleagues know," Andrea points out, her playful demeanour now long gone.

"No, it isn't," Neil agrees.

"You and I aren't from the same side of the street," A reference to Andrea's lower rank.

"A uniform and plain clothes relationship is hardly unheard of," She knows he's right, this time sliding her hand into his pocket.

"You must know why I'd prefer to be just us, for no one else to know," Andrea begins as they resume walking, a lone car passing them. She continues not waiting for a reply. "Steve Hunter's epileptic dancing style," It results in a small and rare laugh from Neil. "Gabriel Kent, who makes my skin crawl by the way, Gina, Tony, Roger and their bad jokes. Some guy I don't even know insisting I dance with him and addressing me by name."

"Should I be worried?" Neil interjects, he receives a look that makes it clear it's not necessary.

"Career advice from Okaro," Andrea finishes.

"Sounds like a stellar night compared to mine," Neil is serious but not enough for Andrea who continues in silence.

"Do you know where we're going?" It's hard to read his expression in the dull street lighting.

"Not exactly," Neil replies, a warm hand sliding into the pocket of his pants. "What are you looking for?" He stops, her hands having searched the depths of the space.

"Car keys," She sighs and Neil jiggles them in his pocket on the opposite side.

Taking sympathy he encourages Andrea towards him and she gives in easily. They circle their arms around one another, slightly shorter tonight, Neil kisses her forehead and Andrea uses his chest like a vertical pillow.

"I know tonight wasn't the most enjoyable night of your life, it probably would have been better just the two of us but it's been long enough, we need to get out," Somewhere inside Andrea she knows he's right.

"I like the fact no one knows," Absently her fingers run down his shirt, the only side that will still be crisp when she eventually stands up again. "It's been this room we both have a key for, an exclusive club where we can just enjoy one another without the hassles of the world."

"Yeah, I've enjoy that too..." Neil acknowledges. "I'm not suggesting we start having people share our bed."

A happy 'hmph' escapes past Andrea's lips, she looks up at him and chuckles.

"Don't you miss your friends?" After pondering for a moment Andrea answers with a simple shake of the head.

"And you have none," Andrea adds cheekily.

"I've got you," It's the comment which sobers the mood again.

"I see them, talk to them every day but..." Andrea pauses reaching for the right words.

"It's different now you're with me," Neil offers.

"I don't know, maybe I should want to hit the clubs with them after the pub," Despite her words, Andrea is not convinced.

"It's just that you're at different places in your lives," Andrea lifts her head, loving each inch of his face, patches of light and dark accentuating and hiding his features.

"Come here," Neil beckons, stepping them back until he can lean against the nearest garden wall. Its crumbling edges and smashed corners cause Neil to grimace, much to Andrea's amusement.

"It's been nice, I agree," He holds his hand out for Andrea to take, coaxing her closer. "But I want to move forward with you."

Andrea listens patiently, his hands resting on her hips. "We don't have to double date but we could go to parties together, restaurants."

"Like the one tonight," Andrea nods. Neil watches her intently, looking for any reaction. Eyes cast downwards she takes a few moments, with a sigh of resignation she slides her hands out of her pockets. They skim up his arms, resting clasped around his neck.

"You want to tell people about us," Almost instantly Neil nods, soon met with a sweet kiss, what he hopes is a yes.

"Can we walk," Andrea indicates further up the street, "I'm cold."

The homes they pass are darkened and silent, New Year's Eve spent alone and unprotected. An occasional car saunters its way through the well lit intersection ahead. Neither has said anything, hands still warding off the cold in his pocket, both have since pulled their scarves tighter. Andrea spots a group of underage drinkers in the park on the opposite side of the road, another of society's woes she can put behind the closed door of her flat with Neil. Sometimes it's as though he and they are the only things right in the world, the only thing that makes sense.

Neil turns them left at the intersection and now the headlights from the occasional passing car light their path ahead. Someone leans out their car window and drunkenly slurs at them, the driver leaning on the horn. She has the same thoughts about maintaining her own private world.

"I'd like you to meet Jake, actually I'd like you to get to know one another," though it comes out of the blue, somehow Andrea knew it was coming. "I'd actually like very much for us to be a family someday." Andrea's pace slows as she conjures up an image of what that would look like. Unsure but despite this she squeezes Neil's hand encouragingly.

"You have plans," This time she stops completely, there'd been a lot of contemplation on a walk that seemed to be taking them only as far as around the block.

"It's more like a wish list," From then it's as though she's opened a gate on the Thames, perhaps feeling she's grown accustomed to the changes with each passing step.

"I've been thinking it's about time we looked for a bigger place, one that's ours," He waits for her reaction but gets none.

"Don't let me stop you, you're on a roll," She smiles in his direction.

"If Jake was to come and stay with us, I was thinking..." He trails off, getting a hint that something is amiss.

"As long as we don't have to start hosting parties Okaro style," Andrea laughs.

"No, there's no chance of that," Neil laughs along with her.

"Neil there's nothing I'd like more than to have a home with you. I know this is not really the time or place Neil but I can't afford much more rent than I'm already paying," Not to pour cold water on his plans.

"I was thinking more of a joint ownership situation," Neil says quietly and for the first time Andrea's head swims. That's what it does when she gets up too fast and now when she get too much serious information too fast.

Sensing Andrea's uneasiness he slides his hand into hers, they walk on in silence.

"This is a heavy duty conversation for 3am on the first day of the year," Andrea tries to be light-hearted.

"I don't want to pressure you but I think it's long overdue," Neil pushes a little more, he gives it a moment before going on. "We should have at least one party."

"Just a small housewarming, not the farce that's going on a street away," Andrea compromises, she can hear the music from the party in the distance, the quiet night providing no competing sounds.

"I was thinking the sort of party where the guests are our witnesses," There's silence from Andrea but her heart races and she feels too warm under her coat. More fiercely than she intended she drops her hand and stops dead. Her hands are clammy and her mouth dry.

"You haven't proposed," Her throat is dry and no amount of swallowing relieves the desert her throat has become. There's a completely different reaction when he cups one side of her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb," Maybe it's time I did."

"Neil, I..." She doesn't get a chance to finish.

"I know it's a lot in one night."

"I need to think," Andrea starts walking again, hands deep in her own pockets, Neil keeps pace, silent but strong beside her.

"This way," Andrea asks of the street which joins theirs.

"I guess," Neil replies, pleased when she reaches for his hand again.

"Neil, why are you..?" It takes to the next corner, her thoughts somewhat gathered. Down the street there's activity outside the Okaro house. "You'd usually be the one holding back like I am."

"Because it's time Andrea, I'm not getting any younger and I just don't care anymore. I just want to be happy, I want to be with you. I want people to know and be happy for us or jealous," It's almost an impassioned speech and one which resonated with her. He's right.

"We should be starting our lives together," Neil continues unabated, unaware Andrea is mostly convinced.

"Are you proposing now on this street instead?" Andrea says smiling.

"I'm proposing we go into that party, dance cheek to cheek, kiss one another or at least announce it to one person," Now Neil is smiling as well.

Hesitantly she rests her hand on the lapel of his jacket, she meets his eyes and is confident in her words. "You're right but this has come all so quickly and I...am still hesitant."

"So we'll take it slow," Neil's hand covers hers. "You ready?"

With a reassuring smile they walk hand in hand up the street and the front stairs.

* * *

Their return goes unnoticed by the attendant taking coats, he's seen one too many come and go that night. The party has thinned, the music no quieter or mellow however. Andrea's hand searches desperately for Neil's and he squeezes it reassuringly. It's of little comfort to Andrea who's fast developing cold feet now they're inside the house again.

The main room is still crowded and Andrea slows till Neil is almost pulling her along. "I'm not sure I can do this now," A panicked look painted on her face.

Calmly he presses his lips to her forehead and asks her to trust him. She nods and he checks again, studying her face this time and asking if she's ok. The offer of champagne is timely and most welcomed by Andrea who needs the courage. They touch glasses, not toasting to any one thing in particular, the speed at which Andrea drinks hers has Neil cautioning her to steady on.

They leave their glasses on a nearby table, the bubbles going straight to Andrea's head and daring her to consider they might just go unnoticed for the rest of the night as they have so far.

"Dance with me," Neil asks holding out his hand and Andrea hesitantly offers him hers.

"You know the only dancing I do is the horizontal type," As soon as she's said it Andrea regrets it and Neil, who had been leading them towards the edge of the dance floor turns to face her with raised eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, nervous humour," It's enough to have Neil change direction.

Andrea has a near collision with a fresh plate of food on its way out of the kitchen, the young caterers assistant apologises without stopping. Seeing the rush of food and drink being prepared, Andrea wonders why Neil has brought them here. She soon notices what he has, an unused corner, the tiled walls which provide additional sound proofing and the radio that is set to an easy listening station. It's busy, frantic even and no one will notice, least of all care who they are and what they're doing, Andrea likes this.

It's she who slides herself into his hold, quickly falling in with the gentle rhythm of the song, every now and then one of the caterers sing along but like them Neil and Andrea pay no notice.

When the song changes Neil gently drops his arms to slide around her waist, beckoning Andrea closer, "I don't bite." It's a promise he says with a smile on his whole face. For the first time Andrea relaxes. "Dance like no one's watching," Neil advises, fingers sprayed across her back, his other hand covering where Andrea's rests on his chest.

"Fortune cookie advice, but advice I'll quickly discard if the whole nick walks in here looking for a very early morning snack," Andrea jokes, Neil's pleased and when he kisses her temple she shuffles closer, cheek to cheek.

Of all the people to first notice them, Phil Hunter would be the best for spreading the news of the discovery. He stops in the doorway, digesting the sight of Andrea and Neil dancing. Neil's just glad he's obviously not drunk enough to make a boorish comment. Andrea was never going to see him, her eyes closed, head slightly bowed, something Neil is grateful for.

By the clock on the oven it takes Phil less than five minutes to find everyone left at the party who know them. When a waiter leaves with a fresh plate of something, a different face from Sun Hill peers in, reporting back to the others no doubt.

It's Honey and Yvonne who are first bold enough to enter the room and watch, smiles that would like it on their faces. Neil pays them little mind as Andrea runs her fingers through the hair that touches his collar.

"I don't think I've told you tonight that I love you and I love our life together," she whispers, still believing that the constant opening and closing of the kitchen door is the wait staff. It's the Sun Hill nick who one by one stand around the wall with big grins on their faces.

"I do too," Neil both assures and keeps her completely unaware.

Despite the joy on the faces, Neil tires of the scrutiny, he has what he wants. Andrea needn't worry, there'll be plenty of times when like her, he won't want to be a part of the crowd, two will be enough. Eyes closed and her hair tickling the side of his face, Neil locks himself in a world where there's just two of them in the kitchen of her flat... at least until the song ends.

"You probably shouldn't open your eyes," Neil whispers and to her credit, Andrea doesn't panic, perhaps gone to her kitchen as he had done. They'd gradually slowed and were barely stepping on the spot, long since lost time with the music.

"Why's that?" Instinctively she pulls him closer.

"We've attracted quite an audience," And before Andrea can react the room erupts in clapping and cheers. Immediately mortified, Andrea rests the top of her head against Neil's chin, grateful at least for the fact her back is to the crowd.

"What do we do now?" She asks once the celebration has ceased, Neil has a smile that tells her he has a plan.

"Kiss me," He says simply, shrugging like it's the most obvious things to do. After a moments contemplation Andrea surprises him by ginning and slowly leaning in for a passionate kiss, this time there's no cheering. With a last peck on the lips Andrea slides her arm around Neil and they turn to face their friends and supporters.

"So I guess you know," Neil says pulling Andrea a little closer, he checks and she's wearing a proud smile.

"Ahh we knew all along," Terry takes a step forward and shakes Neil's hand, he smiles at Andrea and pats her on the upper arm.

A smiling Sam Nixon kisses Andrea on the cheek and does the same for Neil.

"You underestimate our detective skills," Phil approaches next, shaking Neil's hand.

"You can't keep a secret this good," Tony congratulates Andrea and 'sir's' Neil.

Honey and Yvonne chide Andrea for not sharing the news that has made her so happy.

One by one , once congratulations are done, the room empties and Neil and Andrea are alone with the staff again. Slowly they go back to work, having been taken by the scene.

"What's left to say?" Neil nuzzles his face to Andreas and drops tiny kisses across her face.

"Two things," Andrea begins. "I love you."

"And," Neil prompts.

"Dance with me."


	9. Alternate ending 8

**Authors note**: Mmm another one, I don't want to say I'm on a roll, might jinx things. I don't usually do this but I think this is my favourite ending so far, was so keen to get writing once I'd sketched out a plan.

Omg thank you, thank you, thank you for the wonderful welcome back and reviews..my fears are allayed!

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**Title**: New Years Eve...Ending Eight

**Author**: Loz & Meegan Boulton

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T

**Category**: ...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Stand alone, not related to anything else I've done. See also 'How this works' below.

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** **(if applicable)**: www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The last lot well and truly exceeded my expectations, thank you to everyone. Anymore would be stunning.

**Summary**: A NYE party at Okaro's can have so many different endings for Neil and Andrea.

**How this works**: Ok so you used to be able to get those books where you could 'choose your own adventure' and this is kind like that. You read the first part and the rest are alternative endings to the first part with different sets of circumstances and outcomes for Neil and Andrea.

**Note**: This is actually a co-effort with Meegan Boulton so all compliments/criticisms etc should also be sent in her direction even though I'm the one posting this story.

**Disclaimers**: The Bill ownership, no can do.

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Neil smiles softly across the room to Andrea; it's an easy reintroduction after twelve months of virtually not seeing him at all. They'd gone cold turkey, never working together and barely acknowledging one another in the corridors of Sun Hill. It surprised Andrea just how much distance could be put between officers when they didn't deliberately go looking for one another. They'd agreed to cold turkey, a quick and clean break was the one that was least likely to prolong the emotional turmoil.

"How is everything?" a warm and gentle smile greets Neil as he makes his way over to Andrea.

"It's good," as generic a statement as they come and not what Andrea was referring to.

"And your..." She never gets a chance to finish.

"It's finally over, I'm free," In all honesty Andrea never imagined the day coming and somewhere inside her a tiny lick of a flame springs to life. It burns a reawakening of feelings, they're small but they're there, fresh out of hibernation.

"When?" Andrea questions, instantly wanting to retract it for fear of being too nosey. It was not asked casually and the last thing she wants is for Neil to feel he's being interrogated.

"Christmas Eve," he says seriously, no residual anger in his tone at all.

"Are you happy about the timing?" Andrea asks like there's something he could have done about it.

"I wanted to be free and now I am, there's never a good time," he says like a man who's accepted things and moved on. More than that he sounds at peace and happy for the first time in a long time, the small flame inside Andrea flickers.

"You look tired," Andrea notice tilting her head, there's a hint of dark circles under his eyes but mostly he doesn't have the energy like he usually does.

"It's been a long year and I'm happy to say it's over," no sigh of resignation just the warm glow of a smile, further wattage sapped by the recent proceedings.

The music level goes down a notch, Andrea realising that she'd stopped paying attention to anyone and everything else.

"Look, I know it's late and I was going to head home," the confidence in whatever he wants to ask erodes gradually until Andrea nods and smiles, "But I haven't spoken to you in so long."

"If there's some place quiet we could go," barely giving Neil a chance to finish and an unambiguous message of support for the idea.

"And a good drop of wine wouldn't go astray," Neil adds. "Upstairs would be best I think."

"Oh, I think the kids are up there," little chance of peace and privacy given her last adventure.

"They're asleep now," Neil smiles.

"Been snooping have we?" Andrea accuses playfully.

"No, worse, hiding," Neil laughs but Andrea can completely understand. She just wishes they hadn't 'hid' from one another up until now.

"I'll grab that wine and be back," there's barely time to utter a reply before Neil's weaving his way towards the kitchen. Andrea's feet ache in her generously high heels and she debates whether to go and find a chair. The prospect of having him search the party for her when he comes back, only to give up and head home keeps Andrea on her feet. One at a time she holds them slightly off the ground.

The tap on her shoulder has Andrea spinning around enthusiastically, her mouth half open to comment about the wine retrieval not taking him long. Instead Yvonne and honey stand behind her, confused faces at the large smile for Neil on hers.

"Did you turn into a flamingo at midnight?" Yvonne points to the one leg of Andrea's that rests slightly off the ground, it drops heavily to the ground immediately.

"Shoes, killing me," Andrea sighs, discreetly scanning her peripheral vision for Neil.

"Good timing, we're heading off, do you want to share a cab?" only at gunpoint under the threat of heinous violence Andrea thinks to herself.

"Who are you looking for?" Honey is less discrete; having noticed Andrea's wandering eyes.

"No one no, you go, I'm not done yet, I'm going to stick around a while longer," it's a fumbling, bumbling mess that Andrea can see neither of her friends are buying. "I'll definitely be taking these shoes off though," the jokes goes over like a lead balloon, Andrea needs only to look at the faces of her worried and confused friends.

"PC Harmon, Hemmingway," Cool, smooth and with terrible timing Neil returns. Andrea's eye bulge at the sight of four bottles of wine, carried skilfully by their necks. To his credit Neil realises his presence has dialled up the awkwardness, it steadily reaching for an off the charts position.

"I'll meet you upstairs," Neil points with the bottles, when Andrea nods in agreement he moves on, leaving her with an even more awkward explanation. Obviously wanting a fast escape he's failed to say goodnight to the other PC's.

Now the concern and confusion on her friend's faces is mixed with bewilderment.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm just going to talk with the DI, catch up," Andrea brushes off the message they're sending.

"That and the four bottles of wine in his hands are making us worried for you," Yvonne speaks up; her concerns are met with polite laughter from Andrea.

"It's Neil Manson, he's not going to get me drunk and take advantage of me," Andrea protests.

"Maybe a little of that wouldn't go astray," Honey mumbles, loud enough for Andrea to hear though. She protests loudly at the playful slap from Andrea, smiling the whole time.

"I happen to like Neil Manson, he's great to talk to, you just need to see into him," what you see isn't what you get with Neil.

"And you do," Honey remains a sceptic.

"Yes, I do," Andrea defends herself, a chuckle in her voice.

"Hmmm, 'I do'," Yvonne ponders, stirring Andrea a little.

"So I didn't know you two knew each other so well," Honey joins in.

"We talk," Andrea downplays with a shrug.

"That all?" Yvonne presses further before Andrea can get in a reply.

"I mean I imagine he's solid, dependable, probably half decent under all that...ugh, but Andrea you could do better, he's so..." Yvonne searches for the right word.

"I think there are some things Andrea hasn't told us about our dear DI," Honey chimes in.

Laughing Andrea covers, "He's the DI, if there was something going on between us it would be all over the station, that place is worse than the Internet," still her heart races, if her friends knew how deeply involved she had been with Neil, their reactions would be interesting to say the least.

"Thank you for worrying about me but I'm fine, he's fine, together we'll be fine. We're going to sit and drink wine and solve our problems and probably those of the world as well. If I'm completely off my face I've no doubt he'll escort me safely home. I'm safer with him than any guy I meet in the pub, I'll be fine," Speech finished Andrea hopes she's won him over.

"Besides he's married," Andrea adds and instantly realises she's overcooked this particular chicken.

"Nah-uh, the rumour tonight is that divorce is final," Honey says smugly, for once the rumour mill is correct.

"Fine but he's still not going to be ready to jump into a relationship with anyone," Andrea counters.

"No because all he'll want is sex," Yvonne explains, her look tells Andrea she can't believe her naivety.

"Well that's tough for him because it's not what I'm interested in," finally Andrea feels she's won; there's a pause between the friends that seems to go on for too long. "I've got to go, Neil will be wondering where I am, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Neil!" Honey and Yvonne chorus at Andreas slip of the tongue.

Andrea ignores them and they exchange goodnights. "You better call tomorrow," Yvonne threatens politely before Andrea makes her way upstairs.

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Her eyes need little adjustment in the dark hallway; it's easy to spot Neil standing with his back against the wall, bottles at his feet.

"Sorry," Andrea apologises.

"Problem?" he questions, leaning down to pick up their supplies. "I was beginning to think you'd skipped out on me with them."

"No, they just need convincing and then I made the mistake of using your first name as we were about to part. You need better PR," Andrea jokes.

"I've got the PR I like," he smiles.

"They were under the impression I needed protection from you," she gently teases.

"Ahh, if only they knew the truth," Neil replies nostalgically. Safe with him was an understatement, Andrea had felt like she could fly and she never failed to tell him how he made her feel.

He holds out the label on one of the bottles for her to inspect.

"Memories," She smiles softly, they'd consumed a lot from the particular vineyard in their time together. Although not at all superstitious she often asked herself, as she was now, if it was co-incidence or a sign.

"Let's go to my spot," Neil encourages her and Andrea follows with a small laugh.

His spot turns out to be the kid's room, complete with a TV, sofa and toys scattered across the floor. Neil indicates to the light, the dimmer is already set low when Andrea flicks it on, hesitates for a moment and then swivels it down lower. Finger cramping Neil sets the wine of top of the wide body television, shaking the blood flow back into his hands. Andrea supports herself on the back of the sofa and unbuckles her heels, once free she kicks them off, the plush carpet soft on her aching insteps. She steps around the haphazardly scattered toys like they are small land mines ready to explode.

"I guess I'll be the one going back for the glasses and corkscrew then," Neil watches as Andrea lowers herself into the sofa, he knows what will happen before she does. Shoeless and now wedged Andrea erupts into giggles and struggles to get up but ends up sliding on the faux leather. Inelegantly her head rests on the seat of the sofa; legs sprawled in front of her. She slides further until she finds a comfortable spot, sitting on the ground with her back against the sofa.

"Well that was dignified," Neil sniggers as Andrea's mouth forms an 'o' of protest.

"How come you didn't bring glasses and a corkscrew with you?" the look on Neil's face explains it all – with what hands Andrea?

"Aren't they screw top bottles?" With one observation she recovers some poise.

"Glasses then, we're going to be dignified from now on, don't go away," the door closes quietly behind them and Andrea feels nervous now she's alone. She reaches for a soft toy, anything to keep herself occupied and from her minds running wild.

If it weren't for the softly closing door, Neil would have announced his return with the howl of protest from the squeaky toy he stands on. Andrea gratefully takes the glasses he holds out in front of her and then places the bottles on the floor between them.

"What were you doing up here before?" She holds out her glass as Neil fills it with the rich burgundy wine.

"Watching a test match reply on TV," Neil fills his own glass just shy of her level.

"Alone?" Andrea pries and then protests at the discrepancy, "Trying to get me drunk?"

"It's dark," to satisfy her he fills the glass some more. "Some of the guys from Stafford Row were here watching as well.

Neil holds his glass out for them to toast, the two never meet, instead their eyes hold in a lengthy gaze. "To old friends and catching up," Neil says and after the moment she's just had, Andrea takes a large gulp. It's only a couple of minutes before she helps herself to another sizeable glass.

"Where's Jake tonight?" Andrea asks suddenly, as though Neil is the type of parent who would leave his son in the car downstairs for the night.

"I'm a bad parent, I organised a nanny," After a minute Neil seems to turn almost morose.

"How did he handle all this?" Andrea presses gently.

"It was decidedly..." Neil pauses, searching for the right word. "Rocky, rough there for a while."

Andrea allows him to continue.

"He blamed me and directed his anger at me for a long time, there were points where I didn't think I was going to cope and I'd never come out the other side."

Another mouthful and he continues.

"He slammed doors, I yelled, he told me he hated me that tore my heart out with a spoon."

"You got through it though," Andrea observes quietly.

"I spent a whole year making sure he'd be ok, focusing on him only and we're just starting to come out the other side of things now," Itching to say something Andrea reigns herself in until he's completely done.

"I haven't done anything, been anywhere or seen anyone in over a year," Andrea instantly ponders the exact definition of 'seen anyone.

"I must look sad or something because he told me the other day his teacher Miss Redman didn't have a husband, he asked her. I didn't know whether to be worried that he'd noticed something in more or to be mortified at the private information he'd extracted out of her," it was seem the 'seeing anyone' question had been answered.

"So what did you say?" Andrea smiles against the rim of her glass.

"That's nice, I couldn't think or a thing else to say," it's said with the grin and a shake of the head of a proud father.

Looking over at his profile Andrea asks herself if she's been treading water all this time, waiting until he confirmed he was free. Her supposed vanished feelings just lying in wait below the surface. His Adams apple bobs as a fresh mouthful of wine slides down easily.

"Tell you the truth I'm a bit lost, I'm not sure what to do now," he turns and catches them in a long and comfortable gaze.

Andrea finally finds the right words, "You do your best, all anyone can ask."

After more than a few minutes spent leisurely consuming the wine, three and a half bottles between her and Neil, Andrea unscrews the cap and pours herself a refill. When Neil holds out his glass Andrea obliges, pouring as much as she can into his glass as well.

Slowly in an easy silence they get drunk.

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"Did Philippa ever find anything out about us?" It's a safe way to talk about 'them'.

"Nothing that she ever used against me," Andrea shifts her legs, her feet no longer aching, underneath her. It's a valid reason for the slight lean in his direction she now has.

"Guess that's good, it worked then," Unable to pin point what's driving her, Andrea allows another mouthful of wine to slide down her throat. The artificial warmth has kicked in and her head swims a little.

"You were ok afterwards?" Andrea had never thought about how to respond to the question and now she's on the spot and without a clear head.

"After we split?" it buys only a moment of time.

"Yeah," Neil waits patiently for a response.

"I don't want to say," it's no lie, part of her isn't sure; the rest doesn't want to go near anything that might hurt him so long after the fact.

"That bad, sorry," At this angle she can't escape his sympathetic look.

"No, I was actually kind of alright," as predicated, making him feel bad. "I expected to never leave the house again."

A wry grin crosses Neil's face, "You certainly know how to make a bloke feel good."

"I'm sorry," stuck in a conversation she did not want to have. "It was a though I knew it was the best thing to do, the right thing to do."

"An act of love?" Neil suggests and Andrea meets his eyes, he doesn't need for her to open her mouth to know the answer is yes. His hand reaches out and covers her, she accepts willingly when he laces his fingers with hers.

It's two more glasses, slowly drunk before either of them says a word again.

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"I don't know what to say without bringing up the past and I don't want to do that to you anymore," without noticing they were onto their second bottle, Neil having rolled the first along to the floor in the direction of the TV.

"You probably should because I think I still owe you for that last room," a night she would never forget and not for any happy reason. For the first and only time she'd cried when he left. She'd spent the night in between their sheets, promptly got up and paid the bill the next morning and went home. It was the only time her composure ever broke down.

"Don't worry, it was the only opportunity we had, only way we could say goodbye, I'd have paid ten times the amount I did," as has become typical of them both tonight there's a long look that passes between them and little else. They step to the water's edge and stick their toes in only to retract them and move on. It's symptomatic not of a pair who've been burnt but who've come through a difficult patch and need a little push to encourage them back in.

Neil pours another glass for them; his fingers graze Andreas as another bottle nears the point of empty. He shifts towards her, one arm outstretched across the small sofa, the dwindling carpet picnic of red wine between them.

"You alluded to this before," lacking the courage to ask straight out Andrea truncates her question, Neil to his credit doesn't force her. "Seeing anyone special?"

In a pubescent romantic fantasy he would reach across her passionately and sprout out a line such as 'no but I see someone across from me who's special and whom I'd like to see a lot more of,' but this is reality.

"No one," Andrea isn't entirely unsure her breath doesn't hitch, "You?"

"No one," she answers with tantalisingly little detail.

"No one special or no one?" he's bold enough to ask for confirmation.

"No one, you?" Andrea starts to realise how ridiculous the conversation sounds.

"No one," Neil says with a hint of a smile, "Fine pair we are," the double meaning isn't lost on Andrea.

"Do you want to go there?" again they recall, mouths otherwise sipping their wine.

"I need a change of scenery," Neil surprises her almost springing to his feet. He offers Andrea a hand up and she wonders if they're moving rooms, she doesn't particularly want to head back downstairs where there are people.

"The seat was sticking into my back," Neil offers by way of explanation. He slides his back down the wall and Andrea follows his lead. Their carpet picnic has disappeared, a bottle either side of them and their legs touching.

"I don't think I need this, I'm pretty sure I'm drunk already," Neil's glass wobbles as he laughs; Andrea's refill nearly slopping over the side.

The door opening suddenly stuns them both into silence, the two bodies fused in a passionate clinch are too occupied to notice they're affection has become public.

"No, this isn't it," the male mumbles and instantly they recognise who he is. On the way out a blonde ponytail flicks and the last mystery is solved.

"No, please no," Neil groans once Phil and Sam have gone, Andrea's giggles overflow into laughter as she stands up and closes the door behind them. "Now his mind will be even less on the job," Neil laments.

"But that was hilarious," Andrea makes her way back to him; she toes an empty wine bottle until it rolls across the room.

"They could learn something from us," Neil says quietly, looking up at her. Discretion was their strong suit and a necessity for much of their time together.

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"We never did talk about the future did we?" Andrea turns her head quickly and the room spins. They'd been lying silently with their heads on a purple beanbag for so long she'd assumed he was asleep, he probably thought the same about her.

"No," Andrea replies, slowly turning on her side to avoid the inevitable stiff neck that would come to life in the morning, "Your divorce was this mountain of Everest proportions."

Although not done, she allows Neil to interject, "For me it was a trip through a very long, very dark tunnel alone."

"I couldn't see an end so I guess I figured there was no point to a future oriented conversation. I saw you being tied up in court for a very long time and..."

"You weren't willing to wait that long," Neil finishes but he couldn't be further from correct. What with the PI snooping around, waiting even remaining casually on the sidelines was never an option.

"I never said that," the words resonate with Neil. If it were true she wouldn't be drinking alone with him in the early hours of New Year's morning. One of her greatest regrets was that she couldn't stand by his side and support him through it all.

"We left so much unsaid," the gaze that locks their eyes to one another has more than a little longing in it this time. Neil's hand which brushes a small section of Andrea's fringe off her forehead draws them back towards a place they used to be in.

"Do you still have that blue cotton shirt of mine?" they'd since finished the last bottle of wine and had dulled any ability to judge the passing of time. Andrea's eyes close intermittently, lulled close to sleep by the gentle touch of Neil's hand on her face and his rough stubble under her own fingers.

"It's mine now, think of it as being part of a separation settlement," her hand drops and Andrea gives him a cheeky smile.

"You must have had your own PI because I got nothing of yours," he teases gently and persists with the light touches on her face.

"Except some very pleasant memories," Andrea suggests.

"They don't keep me warm at night." the depth and meaning in his words flood Andrea with emotion.

"Neither does the shirt," she says bringing him right along with her.

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Almost instantly Andrea recoils against the light but photosensitivity is not her only problem. Her nausea and headache that take a minute or two to make themselves known, clearly point to a hangover which she knows came from a New Year's Eve party spent with Neil.

The rest is nonexistent, as is how she got to be wherever she is.

The pillow is deep; a little soft for her liking but it's easy for Andrea to bury her head in it, shutting out the light but not the pounding of her head and churning stomach.

Wherever she is, it's silent and shaded to a greater degree than her eyes had first indicated. There is nothing familiar about it, she quickly becomes uncomfortable when she realises her state of dress.

Andrea groans as she sits up in bed, it's as far as she can get feeling like she's been hit by a truck. Gingerly she stands; she could swear she's lugging three times her body weight. The room is unfamiliar to her but she sees no cause for alarm in the circumstances, safe rather than in danger – a copper instinct.

A long men's t-shirt hangs in the cupboard, Andrea sways as she reaches to pull it off its hanger. It affords her relief from the underwire of the bra she's wearing and breathing in the scent that's woven into the fibres tells her exactly whose house this is.

Unfamiliar with the layout as the house was always off limits; Andrea shuffles her way from room to room. Each step is an effort and so is seeing anything with eyes that have a blinding headache behind them. The shirt only just skirts the top of her legs, irrelevant when all she really feels up to is crawling back into bed, it doesn't matter it's not her own.

On the back of a sofa Andrea finds her dress from the night before neatly laid out, shoes at the ready with the heels facing upwards on top of the dress. She still has no answer as to how she got out of it.

The kitchen is a cruel mirage; the fridge is empty though she grabs greedily at the two large bottles of water. The photo of Neil and Jake smiling back at her is further proof of where she is. The coffee machine is beyond her comprehension in her current state but one of the higher cabinets contains a full pack of aspirin. Much to her horror the clock on the oven reads one in the afternoon. Andrea isn't willing to discount that it may be one on the second of January. The two aspirin in her mouth fizz until she gulps desperately at the water, willing relief to come almost instantly.

After stumbling once on the stairs Andrea negotiates the rest of them with extreme care. The box of aspirin is safe in her bra strap but the two bottles of water take up each hand leaving nothing to steady herself with.

One beige room blends into the next for Andrea, it's at least kind to her hangover however. She's searched through bedrooms, living areas, bathrooms and a private study for signs of human occupation. The bed in Jake's room, with its pirate themed decoration is empty and most inviting despite the fact her feet would probably hang over the edge.

The last room Andrea checks is Neil's, the duvet rising gently over a sleeping form. Unlike the rest of the house there's colour splashed, the bed pushed up against a deep burgundy wall. Andrea watches for the rise and fall of his body or for the sound of a soft snore, he's both still and silent.

There's no instrument to measure how much she wants to climb into the bed, it has nothing to do with Neil. She places a bottle of water and the aspirin on the table next to his bed, the soft carpet underfoot masks her movement.

"Have you been awake for long?" his voice sounds as though he's experiencing as much discomfort as she is. Andrea was headed back downstairs to climb like a wounded animal back under her own duvet. When she turns in the doorway Neil has managed to sit up, his short hair tousled and his hands rub up and down his face, trying to kick start his sluggish brain.

"Long enough to know I'd rather be unconscious again," Neil exhales in a manner that tells her he agrees. Neil goes to swing his legs over the edge of the bed but can't, he flops deep into the pillow again, pulling the duvet close around him.

"Did we feel this bad when we were together," Andrea feels no better herself, despite being upright for a while now.

"I enjoyed being with you, clearly there was something you weren't telling me," It's said in a mumble and if weren't for the fact she thinks she'd vomit, Andrea would laugh.

"We're out of practice and we did drink four bottles last night."

"I don't remember," Andrea groans.

"At one point we were ten pin bowling with the empty wine bottles and the soft toys in the room, that I do remember," Neil's voice grows stronger but he doesn't get up. "What time is it?"

"Just before two," Andrea shuffles to the chair Neil has thrown last night's clothes over the back of. She collapses into it and curls herself up as tightly as possible, "The good news is, I think it's still the first."

This time Neil does laugh.

"Where's Jake?" Andrea asks recalling the empty bedroom.

"I got Jess up when we got home, I paid her a ridiculous amount to take him for the day," Neil recounts.

"You woke her up?" Although she feels like death warmed up herself, Andrea feels sorry for the young woman. It's not as though her services have been retained because of any sort of emergency, generously compensated or not.

"I remember being upstairs in the kids room but not how we got here," the question had been hassling Andrea for a while.

"I'm a bit vague but I put us in a cab, I was too drunk to take you home and get you into your own bed, I nearly collapsed downstairs with you," the last piece of information gets her attention, as do the covers which rumble as he turns over.

"You took off my clothes," Andrea musters the ability to sound ever so slightly unimpressed.

"The dress looked expensive and as it turned out it still had the tag on it," impressed Andrea managed a smile, there seems no boundaries to his knowledge of her.

"I still prefer my blue shirt," as soon as she's said it her fingers slide over the edge of the shirt, she's pulled it tight over her folded legs.

"It's not here," Neil's tone softens and when Andrea opens her eyes he's sitting up, the covers pushed back on the empty side of the bed. Gratefully Andrea accepts the invitation and climbs in, she's too tired to analyse.

He's wearing the same shirt as her, a white in stark contrast to her grey, she gathers the covers around her, eyes closed they lie across from one another. At an undetermined point Andrea drifts back to sleep.

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Andrea is startled back to consciousness by the closing of doors and voices downstairs. Her right arm is numb from where she'd been resting on it; across from her Neil doesn't stir. The room is dark, they've obviously slept through to what she now assumes is early evening. The aspirin box is unpacked on his table; almost all the bottled water is gone.

Creeping out of bed Andrea closes the door quietly, the air is cool on her skin and she hurries to slide back into her spot. Whether he was dozing or woken by her movements, Neil's eyes snap open and Andrea smiles across at him. As always she tries to glean information off his poker face, there's little about her that feels better, even after all these hours, she assumes he's the same.

"I heard voices, I think Jake's home," unsuccessfully she attempts to stifle a yawn.

"You still talk in your sleep," Neil tries to wind her up.

"You still snore when you've been drinking," Andrea's not having any of it and they're both as wide awake as possible now.

"You want me to get you a cab home?" Neil asks shaping his pillow till his head can be propped up a little more.

"I want a big greasy meal, a Berocca or a more alcohol and to sleep through the night," she half closes her eyes to play up to the way she feels.

"The last one I'd be happy to oblige you with but the first two you're on your own with," Andrea doesn't stop to ponder if they'd be staying in this bed or if she'd be directed to the one back downstairs.

"Obviously because the fridge is empty," a gentle jibe that he reacts immediately to.

"Crown me father of the year," is his dry reply.

Sitting up with less discomfort now, Neil reaches for the aspirin and swallows another before passing them to Andrea so she can do the same.

"Were we talking for hours last night?" propped up and wide awake, the space between them has narrowed.

"In between drinking, yes," Neil smiles.

"I can't remember a single word," it's not a request for him to fill the gaps in her memory but when he does it stops them both.

"We skirted all night around the suggestion of getting back together again," Neil looks at her the way he used to, when it wasn't possible to say anything. The look that would speak volumes if it could.

It's not the most romantic of kisses, his breath is as stale as hers, their eyes still brushed with sleep and it's a little too far for him to lean. He is soft and gentle, fingers grazing her face that must look a fright with unremoved makeup. His lips have always been an oral Pied Piper for her; she follows them deeper and deeper.

"Is that what we decided?" Andrea sighs, tiny kisses fluttered over her eyelids.

"I can't remember but I know it's what I want," Andrea feels ten types of giddy as a result of the soft but sure words.

Hesitant at first Andrea glides her top and bottom lips over one another, her tongue pressing at the back of them, waiting to let her words out.

"It seems right," there's the slightest hint on his face that it's not at all the reply he was expecting. "Can we wait?" Andrea realises it's not a great thing to start with after such a long pause. "Because when I make up my mind there are things I'm going to do with you that I'm just not up to right now."

"Can you maybe give me a clue as to which way you're leaning?" Needing to be thrown a bone, Neil doesn't realise Andrea's mind is made up, has been since she climbed into bed with him. However she needs it to be about the moment, hung over and with his son and the nanny downstairs is not it.

Words aren't required as Andrea slides over and gently encourages him onto his back, there's a spot he knows well and one she loves, where she can nestle on his chest. It's an action that's equivalent to the looks of utter enchantment and love that have frequently passed between them. Neil drops a kiss on the top of her head as her arm curls around him.

"What are you thinking about?" Neil asks.

Andrea feels her eyelids become heavy again; she's warm, comfortable and safe, "That right now I feel like I could fly."

His arms pull her in a little closer.

"Do you need to go downstairs?" Andrea alludes to Jake's arrival home, it's not outside the realm of possibility that he could come through the door.

"There's time."

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End file.
